Coffee & Comfort (A Kaneki x Touka Oneshot)

Coffee & Comfort

"It's all ugly, I'm ugly." Kaneki stared at himself in the mirror, eyes red and kagune out, sprawling in the room. This is what he is, a ghoul, a flesh-eating monster. He resisted the urge to break the mirror, to break what he could already see as broken. A wail escaped his lips, only getting louder as he looked at himself, mentally pointing out everything wrong with him. His tears were red, mixing with his helpless eyes as he finally dropped the mirror, along with himself, to the floor. Hearing it shatter he let out a broken chuckle, knowing that everything is broken, even his reflection. His arms were weak on the floor, barely holding him up as fatigue took over him, falling asleep next to the pieces of the shattered mirror.

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"Kaneki." Touka knocked at the door of his apartment, coffee beans in hand. She grumbled as she received no response, once again knocking on the door. The half-ass asked her to get the beans and he couldn't be bothered to answer his damn door. Whatever. She'd break in if she had to, and then scold him for it. She put her hand on the doorknob, ready to kick it open, only to discover it was unlocked. Irresponsible bastard, what would happen if someone else attempted to break in, well it wouldn't be breaking in, since the door was technically open, but still. Her eyes scanned the room, slowly stepping in as the saw the unmoving body on the floor.

"Kaneki!" She exclaimed, quickly walking over to him, dropping the beans to the floor, forgotten. She noticed the broken glass beside him, cringing. What the hell did he do. She called his name again, more urgently, and was relieved to see him spring up, eyes wide. They were bloodshot, and it was obvious he was crying. Though she knew he wouldn't tell her anything if she asked.

"What happened?" She gestured to the broken mirror. He laughed sheepishly, nervously and as if on edge.
"Nothing." He replied, bringing his hand to his chin. Bastard. He laughed again, trying to change the subject
"What brings you here, Touka-chan?" Both knew he wasn't doing a good job avoiding the topic of him, but she had to respect that, knowing she would hate it if he got involved in her shit.
"I actually came to deliver those coffee beans that you asked for, and the door was unlocked, so don't think I broke in." She narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed nervously again. He gave her a sincere thanks, and she looked to the floor, out of guilt, where she could see kagune markings. Putting together the pieces of his bloodshot eyes and now this, along with the mirror, she mused. It was clear what happened, and it saddened her, he didn't deserve any of this, he merely felt lonely, and had no-one to support him. Sure he had everyone at Anteiku, and his human friend, but it really was hard to find someone whose shoulder you can cry on.

They continued in tense silence, both with depressed gazes, until Touka proposed coffee, though the look Kaneki gave her made it clear he wanted to be left in the pits of his own despair. She wouldn't let it put her off, however, as she was determined to not make him feel alone. She kept eye contact with him until he let out a small, reluctant sound of agreement. She got up off the floor, retrieving one of the dropped packets, suggesting Kaneki sit down somewhere, as the floor didn't look to comfortable. He let out a tired smile as he listened to her, getting up off the floor and making his way to the couch, the crunch of the scattered mirror piercing the room, though Kaneki looked unbothered to deal with any of it. Touka prepared the coffee in silence, and once it was cooling down she went to pick up the broken glass, the clinking and smell of coffee seemingly being the only presence in the room. Kaneki merely acknowledged her picking up the pieces, feeling more guilty that she once again has to clean up the mess he made. In a cheesy, metaphorical way, Touka hopes that she can pick up the pieces of his heart the same way she picks up the glass.

The coffee was cool enough now, and she brings it over to where he sits, gently resting the two cups next to each other, both watching as the coils of steam intertwine with one another. They continue to watch the steam, until Touka grabs her cup and brings it to her lips, stopping as she ushers him to take his own.
"Drink up, otherwise it'll be cold." Her eyes soften at him and Kaneki sees the first ray of hope he's had in a while. He takes his cup, Touka watching him out of the corner of her eye, relief flooding her as she sees him enjoy his cup, as if savouring it. She closes her eyes too, enjoying the now-comfortable silence, Kaneki peeking at her when he knows she can't catch him. The cup tastes like the home that Kaneki's never had, but truthfully he knows it's because she made it for him. They finish the coffee, drinking in unison, barely any words exchanged, and both not having a problem with it. Suddenly, Kaneki feels something inside him break and he's crying again, though for some reason he doesn't feel as depressed.