It's not gay if it's for Dio

Koichi Fucking Dies

Today was a horrible day for Koichi, he just got kidnapped by the girl who confessed to him a few days ago, Yukako was her name.
He was now trapped in a room he's never seen before, probably somewhere far away from everything else in Morioh.
This bitch, Yukako just fucking burst in the room and she says:

"WHAT'S 257×π."

"b i t ch, I don't know."

Says Koichi.

"WRONG MOTHERFUCKER IT'S 807.38931197, IT THIS DIRTY SOCK I FOUND ON THE ROAD YOU FILTHY BITCH."

Koichi, also known as the two year old who's too smart, looks at Yukako for two seconds then says:

"Excuse me milady, you wouldn't mind letting me out of this very ugly house you have here, you may need to decorate it more, before you say no, take this into consideration, I would like you to know that I must leave this place for I, a homo sapien just like yourself, has very important places I need to be, such as an important meeting oR THE FUCKING CLUB BITCH YEAH IMMA GET DRUNK-"

"No."

Koichi was sad because the fucking whore didn't let him leave the house, so after a few minutes of waiting for nothing to happen, he decided he would go to the kitchen, because food was the only thing that made him happy.
Once he reached the door to the kitchen he noticed there was this weird as zipper on it. He thought it was one of Yukako's bullshit test, since he had to do one before so he could use the bathroom, and he failed, like the pussy bitch he is. So he opened the zipper, but turns out there was some weird Italian man with clothes with 100 zippers on it on the other side, he apologized and said he has no idea why he's in the kitchen and then he left threw the wall. Koichi would have been scared and confused if it weren't for that fact that he didn't care, he could have totally left with this weird Italian man but he's just too dense for that.
After all of that he goes over to the fridge only to find out that Yukako put a stupid and unnecessary test thing on it. The question that would let Koichi open the fridge was "How are you supposed to eat Pancakes?" and the answers were "Like a bitch" or "cow noises".
Of course, Koichi was fed up with this shit and walked all the way over to were Yukako's room was, he barged in and when he was about to say something Act 3 appeared, even though Act 3 shouldn't even exist, he doesn't even have Act 2 yet, but fuck it ya know? Time doesn't matter, one guy can stop time another guy can go back in time and the other can erase time, how do you erase time even I don't know, but yeah, time is stupid, 5 seconds can turn into 10 minutes if you decide to spend 2 minutes speaking, in JoJo at least, it's been proven by Dio and Jotaro, Jotaro can only stop time for 2-3 seconds but he spends 4 minutes speaking and then attacks the enemy, so time doesn't matter.
Act 3 says:

"Lmao fucc off T H O T no 1 likes pedos like u, u ugly ho, I'll kill u, also pls open the fridge I need 2 eat food 2 liv a happi lif"

Yukako has nothing to say because something that looks like a baby alien just appeared out of no where and called her a pedo. So she walk out of the house, threw the window breaking it but somehow not getting cut by the pieces, and jumped off the cliff, but unlike the canon ending, Koichi couldn't do shit because he didn't have Act 2 and Act 3 has shit range. Koichi didn't actually care anyway though so he went home, but he died from posing anyway.
And everyone was sad, because everyone loves Koichi, for some reason.