i know this is something for last
something people say to convince them otherwise
but i need to say it first bc fuck that.
sorry.
i know how insensitive that sounds.
how emotionless i may seem.
but i want you to know how much this song means to me
and how much i dedicate it to you.
because never has a song rewritten itself across my mind
so much
it's all i think about
i've never shared this with anybody but you
i'll never sing it to anybody but you
but we all know how terrible i am at that.
I've missed your calls for months it seems
Don't realize how mean I can be
'Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
i know i missed your texts a lot. i somehow i thought you were ok with that. you could cope with it. it's ok.
it wasn't. i treated you like i treated an object.
But I still know your birthday
And your mother's favorite song
but how could i not care when i know so much about you? when so much of you is so much of me? i still know you. i still know snow. i do do now, and i will forever.
So I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
i've never had high standards for myself. so i thought the same thing for a lot of people in my life. i was just... kinda there.
but she didn't see me like that. maybe it's why i fell in love in the first place.
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
i'm putting four years behind me?? but to me it's the same as putting myself behind me. it's putting away my life that i loved so and just managing not to live it long enough??
And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
^^
but someone isn't me
i know i'm not ok with it now. but i will someday.
princess, i'm trying so hard to cope with this.
trying to be ok knowing you're not there
trying to be ok with knowing i could've been the next chapter
trying to be ok knowing i'm now just a flashback
and it's not because i feel i 'have' to say that
i know it's not because i want to feel sorry for myself
i know you - more than anyone else - understand what this is like
more than me
but just please know
i'm sorry
you might not believe it today
or ten years later
but maybe someday you'll finally agree with me.
yes, i know i was wrong
i was so wrong
but know i'm pouring my heart out saying
i always imagined us.
whether it was sneaking out at night
eating ice cream in a pastel parlour
or at the train station, clutching each other
remember when we said we would make youtube videos with each other?
so long back?
i imagined it and i always got excited
and i'm sorry i ruined it
and if anyone reading this
who cares for snow, loving her forever
take care of her
she's worth it.
i know it's selfish baby
but i still think you're my soulmate.
And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me
