high. || myg ✓

heart shaped box

When the sun peaks its way through the thin blinds I finally decide to get up. I sneak out of the room and make my way down to the bathroom where I look in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and my pupils are still blown out. I look tired though. My body feels heavy and I know I'm coming down from the high. I use the bathroom and go back to the dorm where Zoe is still passed out, and will be for the next couple hours until her class. I throw on some clean clothes and grab my phone and keys, going out to the car. I drive to Yoongi's apartment and go inside as if I live here. He's sitting on the couch, playing a gruesome video game and shouting curses. Without him noticing, I sit down beside him and go to crushing a small shard of the crystal as if I've done it a million times. My body is running slow, even my fingers feel ten pounds heavier than they should. I just need enough to wake me up.

"I'm sorry I made you upset last night." Yoongi says, putting his controller down and lighting a cigarette as he watches me take the burn in my nose like a pro.

"You can't tell me how I feel Yoongi." I mumble, looking at him now.

"I know. And I'm scared. I'm scared to get close to people; to let people in. Any time I do they leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." I offer, reaching my hand over to his, running my thumb over his skin. He smiles softly as smoke exits his plush lips, "If I haven't run away yet, I'm not leaving you. My heart won't let me."

"I guess I love you, too then."

"You guess?" I smirk, moving so I'm sitting in his lap, my knees resting on either side of his thighs. His hands find my hips immediately, his neck craning up to press a kiss to my collarbones.

"Well I don't guess. I do. Love you, I mean." His lips are grazing my skin, sending shivers down my spine. He starts kissing down my chest, tossing my shirt onto the floor, his arms wrapping around my waist to pull me closer to him. I let out a soft sigh, reveling in the feeling of his touch.

"Bedroom?" Yoongi asks, his voice a whisper. I nod and lead him to the California king, shutting the door behind me

***

Sex on drugs is way more satisfying than you think it would be. Especially when your stamina never faults and the sparks running through your veins has a chemical reaction with the drugs and every feeling becomes heightened.

I pull the jersey knit sheets over Yoongi and I, resting my head on a pillow as Yoongi wraps his arms around me. Suddenly he likes me close. He doesn't want me to get up. He can't be outside five feet of me at all times. And I guess he's still scared I'm going to slip away from him.

We're still laying in bed when there's a loud banging on the door to the apartment. I look to Yoongi with wide eyes as he kisses my forehead and gets out of bed, pulling on his jeans. He looks in the drawer of the nightstand and tucks his gun into his jeans before walking out of the door. I sit up and pull some clothes on, my jeans and Yoongi's shirt, sitting still on the bed as I listen.

"You're not coming in." I hear Yoongi say followed by a loud slam. I know he wouldn't want me to, but I run out of the room. Yoongi is standing at the door which has now been broken off the chain lock. There's two guys standing at the door. One of them has dark brow hair and he looks similar to a coconut, however he's built. The other is short and he looks squishy despite the tough glint in his eye.

"We're not leaving until we get the money." The taller one says. He glares at Yoongi and I can feel the shorter one staring at me.

"How much do you need?" I ask, pulling my wallet from my purse. Yoongi looks over to me wide eyed as the two men make their way over to me.

"That's a good girl you've got there Yoongi. You should keep her. She's hot, too." The coconut head winks at me, "Two hundred. One hundred for the crystal Yoongi dipped out with and one hundred for the bullet in Namjoon's shoulder."

"He wouldn't have a bullet in his shoulder is you didn't raise your fucking prices." Yoongi slams the front door and the shorter guy turns to him with his gun pointed. I grab the knife off the table and hold it at the back of his neck.

"Drop the damn gun. I'll give you the money once it's on the floor." Everyone's eyes are wide and trained on my as the man puts the gun on the floor. I close the knife and clip it onto my back pocket, counting out two hundred dollars. "Bother us again and I'll have your head. Also, if you're under watch of the DEA, maybe you should move. It'll be harder to find you, yanno." I put my wallet back in my purse and go back in the bedroom without another word. Once the door is shut, I start breathing heavy, terrified at the person I just became. A few minutes later Yoongi comes in and wraps his arms around me from behind, pressing kisses to my shoulders.

"It's scary I know. You'll be okay." He whispers, not letting me go until I've calmed down, "If I'm being honest that was really hot." I roll my eyes.

"I just held a knife to some drug dealers back. That's terrifying." I mutter, my fingers grazing the skin on the back of Yoongi's. He trails his lips along the nape of my neck leaving soft kisses.

"You'll get use to it." He mumbles. I don't say anything as I let my eyes fall shut, listening to our breathing.
***
When I wake up I've had ten missed calls from Zoe and about thirty text messages. I sit up and read a few of the messages.

Where are you?
Are you dead?
Yoongi is on the news.
Please tell me you're not dead.

I run to the living room and turn on the ancient TV. The first thing that comes on is the news as the door to the apartment slams. I jump and turn to see Yoongi running in. He has a duffel bag and a wild look in his eyes.

"Let's go." He smirks, showing me the contents of the bag. Money, a gun and drugs. I drop the remote and put on my shoes, grabbing the drugs off the table and following Yoongi to my car downstairs. We get in and he drives well over the speed limit. I watch him closely as he takes a drag off his cigarette. I don't know why, but I love watching him blow smoke into the air. I lean over the console and press my lips to his cheek, catching a wiff of smoke and henny on his breath.

"I love you." He says, "Don't ever leave me."

"I'm your ride or die baby." I smirk, stealing the cigarette from his lips as he continues down the road. He opens the sun roof and I smile, lifting myself out into the wind.

I'm fully aware of what's going on and I've never felt more free.