Wouldn't Want To Have It Any Other Way (IM5 fanfiction)

Chap 4: Don't You Ever Leave Me Again!

COLE'S POV

Marcy has been in her room for 5 days now. Pasia is starting to worry, I kind of feel responsible, I should've told Pasia that she should've trusted her friends... I just want alone time with Pasia but I want Marcy and Ash to have time with their girl... I don't know what to do...

"Dude," Gabe says snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I ask. I look at him and he looks hurt. We have only known these girls for a week or so. 

I hear Pasia slam the front door. Hell, no. This is not happening. I'm not losing her over a stupid desision. WAIT! WHAT THE FUDGE JUST HAPPENED IN MY BRAIN?!?! Oh well.

"PASIA, NO!" I scream and run after her. I see her walk into a cab and out of sight. Ash was still outside and saw me there. She looked confused.

"PASIA JUST STORMED OUT SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING!!!" I scream confused and lonely. I don't feel alive without my little Pea (the nickname I gave her). I don't think straight and I do stupid things. I need her. No matter if she needs me too. I finally realized what love is. I love her.

PEA'S POV

I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye. I already feel empty. I don't even head to the airport. I just head to a hotel. This isn't real. It can't be. The world feels empty without him. I need and want him with me. He can't and will never feel the same and I can't fall for him either. I am a grenade that will blow to pieces when I die of this stupid cancer. The girls knew I was in the hospital last year when I was diagnosed. Ash only visited a few times because she was trying to focus on school and music. Marcy was in a rough patch with her at-the-time boyfriend, so she couldn't visit. They texted me about getting leads in musicals and solos in Glee, and I was happy for them, but it only made me feel like I wanted to get out of the hospital even more. I wanted to be the one with the solo, and I couldn't stand not being able to try. I feel like a outcast, someone who shouldn't be around. I just want a normal life that I'm never going to get! 

I start crying and the cab driver looks at me with worry. I just shake my head and he keeps driving. I run into the hotel and get a room on the 6th floor. I walk in and just start sobbing into the bed. I get a call from Cole and since I know I can trust him, I pick up.

"Cole," I sniffle out. I hear his sigh a relief. 

"PASIA, THANK GOD!" He says. I can tell he is very happy, "Where are you? I will come pick you up." Now is time to tell him. I can't do this anymore. If I have to feel empty for the rest of my life, it'll be to protect him and the others.

"Cole, do you care about me?" I ask.

"More than the world."

"Then you will wait. Do you love me?" I ask in a unhopeful way. Please say no. I don't want to hurt you with what I'm about to say.

"Yes, I do. You are my everything, Pea," he says. Damn it, Cole. 

I breathe in a just force it, "Then you'll move on. You can't love me. I'm a grenade, Cole." I say now really hurt for saying it. I can't believe I have to do this to the one I love. 

"A) You are my grenade, B) What if I can't move on, and C) I need you more than I need myself. Pasia, you can't do this to me," He says and I just hang up. I can't live without any of them. I run out, check out, I didn't even have to pay. I call a cab and all I need right now is home. I spend a couple hours in the park in front of the house. 

Someone walks out of the house and notices me. Gabe. 

"Oh my God, Pasia Carter Metton! Where have you been? We have been worried sick!" He runs to me and lifts me off the ground. He carries me back to the house on his back.

"I can't tell you alone," I say and we enter the house. Everyone and except Cole and Gabe starts screaming at me. The girls angry I didn't tell them, the boys complaining about I worried them. I opened the door and walked out. Gabe grabbed me and pulled me back in. 

They all quieted down and they were looking at Cole like I am. Did he really just say that? Holy shit, he really does love me.

"Don't you ever leave me again!" He said into the silence of the house. 

I start crying and run up to my room. I lock the door. I look down at my leg and pass out. 

COLE'S POV

I hear a thud and I know she passed out. I point my finger to them for them to wait. I walk upstairs. Thank you, Dalton for teaching me to pick a lock. I walk in and see her laying on the floor, passed out, and clutching her leg. I pick her up and scream for Dana to do emergency call. This is it. She was right, if she dies, I will be broken. I need to move on if I really love her. 

PEA'S POV

In my dream, I was with Cole, he was sobbing. I ran up to him, hug him, and say that I'm sorry 50 million times. He gets up and looks into my eyes. He kisses me and pulls away. He disappears into nothingness. I hear his voice saying, 'I just died in your thoughts. How does this feel? This is how I am going to feel if I keep attached to you, if I don't move on. You don't want me to feel this way.' Imaginary Cole was right. I felt dead myself, I felt like I should jump off a cliff just to be with him. I realized that forever is a word I can't ever use again. I can never say 'Forever and Always' with whoever I love. I can never say BFFs anymore. It won't feel the same to hear We have forever. I don't want anyone to feel this way. 

This sucks because I also realized that I love Cole Alan Pendery.