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Your puny little brains can't quite figure out the truth in this disposable planet you like to call home. You humans are such tiny-minded folk- you can't see the ultraviolet patterns on flowers, understand the motion of the stars, or hear the thoughts of animals.
Its fun tap dancing on your heads so how about I help you along a little bit?
The moon landing was faked. The truth is that the moon doesn't exist. It's a two-dimensional disk hiding alien space surveillance.
Chairs have feelings and you cause them pain whenever you sit on one.
Western democracy is a sham propped up by an elite cable of the superrich. They have a really great rec room. I play ping-pong there occasionally.
Global warming will eventually release something frozen in a glacier that's almost as powerful as I am
Remember that thing your parents told you? The thing they said was really important ,and would make you feel safe and secure and help you sleep at night? They were lying. Sweet dreams, kiddos!
