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" - I'm sorry I was so selfish. I'm sorry I couldn't wait for you."
I sealed up the letter.
I've rewritten it almost twenty times now. I was trying to find the right words to say. My words do not express my thoughts very well. They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish but these words had to be said; well, written.
I labeled the back of the envelope "Words I wish I had said." I stood up from my dining room table, leaving the envelope and walk into my bedroom to get changed out of my pajamas.
I walk over to my bed and grabbed my phone. I began to look for a familiar contact, Mama Tina.
I click the contact, open our text messages and start a new one.
"Hello, Mrs.Porter. It's Y/N, Are you free to grab lunch today?" I hit send.
I walk over to my closet and I grab a tight, strapless black shirt and dark blue jeans and slipped the simple outfit on.
About 5 minutes later I feel a vibration coming from my phone, I bring the phone up to my face and read the text.
"Hey, Y/N! It's great to hear from you! I'm only free for the next hour. We can grab breakfast instead. Does that work for you?" Mama Tina
"Yes. Do you want to meet a Corkies?" I hit send.
"Corkies is fine." she replied almost instantly.
I slip my Vans Suede Skate Shoes on, grab the envelope, grab my keys and walk out the door.
Walking to my car I can't keep my eyes off the envelope. This is actually happening.
I unlock my car and get inside. Stick my key in the ignition and drive away.
Maybe I shouldn't give her the envelope. He's so busy now, he probably won't even have time to read it. Who am I kidding? He won't read it because he doesn't care.
I stop at a red light.
Or maybe he does and he needs this letter just as much as I need to give it to him. Maybe he will read it and finally feel some sort of closure. Maybe he'll forgive me.
I'm shot out of thought by a car behind me honking.
"Sorry!" I yelled out the window as the car drove past me.
I shake my head and turn on the radio. Music should be good for me right now and take my mind off of the letter.
"Hey, listeners! It is 9:30 in the morning and you are listening to Franzia Crisp" The radio host says, "We are about to play the number one requested song! Enjoy!"
