Lake Sirel (On Hold-Possible Permanently)

Two

My arms ached.

I'm not even sure that was the right word. Whatever it is, they burned. I was quick to jump out of the kayak, the ocean like waves almost pulling it away. Today was the worst day to go kayaking, but I'm the only one who seemed to show it. Abby and Libby had decided to share a kayak half way there, and my mom didn't even looked bothered. I, on the other hand, felt like I was about be Lake Sick. I had a headache throbbing and as I banked the kayak, the same smell from last night infatuated my senses. Maybe it's just the smell here.

The small little sand beach was only a little crowded. A couple people, maybe eight or so, sat in lounge chairs tanning and talking. Two little kids sat splashing with their parents down a few feet away from me. Someone was driving a four wheeler around on the rest of the sand, turning up the sand for another guy to rake it down. Upon closer inspection, it was the same guy from last night. I helped my mom haul the kayaks up and put them away, painfully aware of how out of place we looked in this place where everyone knew each other. I shivered when I felt I was being watched.

I still felt a little bit wobbly, like I was still in that kayak as walked across the sand. I hated the feeling. I changed quickly, eager to sit still in one of the chairs on the porch. I had someone I needed to text. Libby and Abby and mom headed upstairs to take a nap, but I wound my way up to the porch of the lodge. I sat in the farthest rocker to the left, and I took advantage of the wifi. This was the only place you could get good wifi on the whole island, and if your lucky you were using it when no one else was. It wasn't very good, but I still took advantage of it.

Yesterday's fog seems to have vanished, and today was beautiful and sunny. It wasn't hot or cold, and the breeze felt nice up here.

Olivia and I texted for a good while before my phone died, and I told her about the kayaking trip, and how de didn't even get to our final destination. Turns out, it was farther then we thought. She was quick to interrupt me though, telling me about something someone had said to her over Snapchat or Instagram, and I had no choice but to listen. It was a blessing really when my phone died. I don't miss all her drama.

I go to plug it in inside- the only building with electricity- and find when I open the screen door a conversation ceases. I smell that same mysterious smell again, and I hurry to plug in my phone. The conversations seems to continue in hushed voices, but even I can tell it sounds one sided. I run my fingers through my slightly tangled hair, and I can't shake the feeling I'm being watched. When I looked around again, the only people in here is Bob- a guy I met at the charming station- and him. He sits casually over a couch, and he looks like he belongs. I read my eyes away before I can be caught, and realize someone's using my charger. I left it here for like an hour or two and someone makes a move on it? I go to unplug it, but decide that would be rude. In the end, I just pocket my phone again and go back outside. 

The screen doors here close with a bang, and I ease the handle shut so it doesn't announce my departure to Ohio. I settle back into my rocking chair, and I let myself relax. The smell is fainter out here, and there's more competing smells. I close my eyes and lean my head back, willing my headache to go away. I let my thoughts drift, and I find myself back to the person inside. 

I need to stop thinking about him so much. I need to stop noticing him so much. It could only end badly for me. After all, who would want to choose me? I'm not glamorous and I don't particularly think of myself as pretty. I'm socially awkward and I am too shy around people I don't know very well. I've never really been enough for anybody, and the only time I've been asked out is so some guy could get 10 dollars in sixth grade. The wind starts to pick up and it starts to drizzle, only so much that it looks like a mist. Alaska, the owners' large husky, trots by content. He gave me a glance before continuing down to the other side of the porch. I find my eyes tearing up, and I try to blame it on my small tear ducts, but I've never been a good liar.

🌙

A door slams, and footsteps come down hard. Tyler looks up from his phone to see his brother running his hands through his hair, pulling at it to make it stand up on end.

"What happened to you?" Tyler asks, almost never seeing his brother like this. He watches as he punches a wall before sliding down onto the floor, holding his wrist.

"I think I found her." He said, his voice slightly monotone as he rubs his hurt hand. It would be back to normal within an hour.

This causes Tyler to stand abruptly from his seat, pillows flying everywhere. He kneels in front of his brother, a thousand questions burning in his mind.

"How do you know?" He finally forms into a coherent sentence.

"I'm not." His brother answered simply.

"Who is she?" Was the next best question, and his brother buried his face in his hands.

"Hopefully, she's the one." He finally said, and for once in the last 17 years, he felt hope. But he was afraid of all the possibilities if she was, in fact, the one.