Depression Is The Emotion That Overtook Me//{PHAN}

Part 11//Dan

I ran outside and slammed the door to PJ's apartment.
The thoughts of what I had just done clouded my mind as I ran,forgetting my total fear of the dark.
I had to get to Phil.
After what felt like forever of running,I finally reached our home.
I stopped before opening the door,thinking about what I had just done.
I felt something cold and wet slide down my face,was I crying?
I quietly opened the door,trying my best not to wake Phil.
I hastily walked to the bathroom,stripping my clothes and stepping into the shower.
I scrubbed my entire body,feeling dirty,as I wanted to get every bit of PJ off of me.
I scrubbed until my skin was red,and stepped out.
I walked to the sink and brushed my teeth until my gums bled.
I sighed,looking up towards the mirror.
What have I done?
I dressed into some more comfortable clothes and walked out of the bathroom and to my room,feeling as I didn't have the right to sleep with Phil tonight.
I closed my bedroom door and started silently sobbing,sliding my back down the wall.
I've done Phil wrong.
I went over there to end it and ended up almost having sex with PJ.
I didn't deserve Phil.
I have to tell him.
I stopped crying,as I knew it wouldn't do anything for me.
I stood up and looked around my room,my eyes catching sight of an old blade.
I could feel tears welling in my eyes,I tried my best not to let them fall.
I walked over to it and picked it up,eyeing it and letting the memories flood back to me.
A tear fell onto it and I mentally cursed myself for letting it.
I pulled up my sleeve,the sight of all the long white scars making me sick.
I searched for an unscarred place,and sunk the blade into my skin.
I put multiple cuts all over my body,my arms getting the most of it.
The salty tears falling into my wounds only made it sting worse.
I heard my door open.
Damn it.
____________________________ So,there's the update!
Sorry it's been so long.
Was it awful? Yes,yes it was.
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