My Next Door Neighbor

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: She Probably Thinks I'm an Asshole.

Harry P.O.V.

Coming back home from spending the day with Lex, I find the house empty. Of course, it’s empty. I should know by now that I shouldn’t expect my dad to be home as often. I’m used to it though. He’s changed so much since I moved here with him. I honestly want my old dad back.

Walking into the kitchen I find a note lying on the kitchen counter next to a pen.

 I’ll be gone for a couple of days. I told Ms. Smith to look out for you while I’m gone. There’s plenty of food for you to eat in the refrigerator. Don’t worry about me; I’ll be back home soon.

 – Love, Dad

Great, I’m left alone again. He always leaves. Why can’t he just stay home and be a father for once?

I’m coming to a point where I don’t care anymore because he’s pushing me away. He is pushing away his own son. I feel like I don’t know him anymore. The father who I loved and adored is gone and the one who kept his promises. I can’t even trust him anymore because now all the things he’s promised me have disappeared. He’s failed to keep them ever since he’s changed. I still can’t believe he left. And he did not just leave for one day, but for more. I shouldn’t be surprised though. The only thing that concerns me is that he will get hurt out there in that condition. He could care less about his health. He is so stubborn to take care of himself, so I worry. It scares me that one day he’ll get injured and will end up in the hospital. He may be an adult and know how to take care of himself out there, but it still scares the hell out of me.

I take the note and crumple it up and throw it on the counter table. I walk towards the staircase to get to my room. I only came back home to get some clothes and my book bag. I’ll be spending it at Jay’s since he is my ride to school. I’m so damn nervous for tomorrow. Starting at a new school where nobody knows you is pretty darn terrifying, but I guess I can handle it.

What really makes me nervous at the moment is that Lex will be at Jay’s house. And she and I kissed.

We fucking kissed.

She probably thinks I’m an asshole. I’m such an idiot. I don’t know why I kissed her in the first place. I was so caught up in the moment to realize what was happening. Everything happened so fast, then one thing led to another and boom we kissed. I know it was wrong to kiss her, but it all felt so right. When my lips touched her lips, I felt butterflies in my stomach. As girly as it sounds that’s exactly how I felt. Her full pink lips held a frown and I had this deep desire to take that frown off her face so I went for in. Her lips were so soft and gentle. I know I’ve kissed girls before, but when kissing her it was different. Kissing her felt pure and innocent. It was perfect to me and I will never forget it, even if I told her to.

I can’t stop thinking about her and the kiss. Something about her attracts me so much. Man what is wrong with me? I shouldn’t be thinking these things. I can’t see her as something else. It was just one kiss and that’s it nothing more. I shouldn’t make this a big deal. I really don’t want to lose her as a friend. We have a great friendship and I don’t want lose that. I would hate myself if we lost our friendship.

I kind of screwed up. Actually no, not kind of, I screwed up big time. I felt so nervous and thought about what would happen afterwards, so I panicked and straight up told her to forget about it.

Fuck, I’m such a jerk. I mean what if I was her first kiss? I highly doubt it though. She might have had hers already. But I still screwed up badly. She probably thinks the worst of me now.

Lex is so different from many girls I know. She doesn’t look like the type of girl who gets attached. She would never have feelings for me anyway. She said that she would agree to forget about it. That’s a good thing which of course means that our kiss meant nothing to her.