No Strings Attached

Chapter Four

Louis didn’t exactly recognize his life anymore. It wasn’t like a drastic period of time had passed since he saw Liam and Niall in the bookstore. In fact, it had only been two days. But since then, he had spent an inordinate amount of time on the Internet, Googling and reading articles on One Direction. But he wasn’t fooling anyone, not even his search history. He knew that he was searching for anything and everything to do with Harry Styles, and it had reached far beyond a healthy point.

Not that any of this was healthy, Louis reasoned, or sane for that matter. Before all this happened, he couldn’t have fathomed that he would have run into X Factor sensation and subsequent reject group One Direction, nor could he have imagined that he would develop an unhealthy fascination with one of its members. But it had barely been a week and Louis could almost laugh at how both those scenarios came to improbable fruition. 

He wondered if Zayn was right. Maybe all he needed was a good fuck. It wasn’t a thought that he let linger for too long, especially with Rosie in the picture. It just didn’t seem right to be thinking about satisfying his sexual needs when he had a toddler to think about. But at the same time, it just didn’t seem fair. He couldn’t imagine going celibate for the rest of his life out of consideration for his daughter.

Still, maybe his persistent Harry-related thoughts were a manifestation of his sheer sexual frustration. He was gay, he knew that much. No matter how many times he would shush Zayn for bringing it up, Louis knew deep down that he fancied other men. Even when he dated Eleanor, it had started off as some sort of experiment, a way of testing the waters. After all, he’d never had a serious girlfriend prior to her. He just never imagined that his first serious – and failed – relationship with a girl would lead to a pregnancy and a lifelong commitment. Although he never regretted Rosie or her existence, the entire experience with Eleanor was enough to turn him away from women completely and irrevocably. Men were simpler, he decided. And they couldn’t get pregnant. 

It just wasn’t fair, Louis internally complained once more, that Harry happened to be the first tangible man that he lusted after. Harry wasn’t even supposed to be tangible; it was only through some cruel twist of fate that the semi-famous curly-haired boy landed in Louis life with his dimples, green eyes, and an ass that begged to be –

Louis had to remind himself to breathe whenever his thoughts threatened to cross that threshold. It was one thing to ogle another man’s rear end, but it was another thing to imagine the potential activities with said rear end.

Maybe a cold shower was exactly what he needed, after all.

***

“So, did you fuck anyone yet?” Zayn’s voice cut through the silence.

Louis almost choked on the lollipop in his mouth and frantically looked over to Rosie, who was playing with a stack of blocks on the floor a couple feet away, her own lollipop in her mouth. When she didn’t repeat Zayn’s profane choice of words, he sighed in relief; she hadn’t heard. 

He glared at Zayn, who was sprawled across the couch with an eyebrow raised. “Word choice!” he hissed. “Toddler nearby!”

Zayn smiled smugly. “Thought so. You looked like you were sucking on that lollipop a little too intensely.”

“Gross,” Louis groaned. “Cherry just happens to be a particularly delicious flavor, so excuse me for enjoying my candy.” 

“You looked like you were enjoying it more than you should have been,” Zayn said through a chuckle, causing Louis to swat him playfully on his arm from where he sat on the ground.

Both Louis and Zayn had the night off and, per usual, they spent the evening together. Zayn still hadn’t had any luck conjuring dates, which led him to invite Louis and Rosie over to his flat for dinner for a change. Louis loved spending time at Zayn’s place; it reminded him of a life before Rosie, when he had more time to roam around and spend the night on a mate’s couch.