Her eyes

Blinded

"Hey guys how's it hanging?" i pause and turn off the camera. I clench my fists into my lap and look down at them. "I can't do this right now, i can't just sit here and act happy." I get up and grab Jenns taupe sweater and head for the door. Right when i squeeze the doorknob, I turn around and grind my teeth. I look at the piles of papers on my desk that need to be finished. I drop the sweater and start to put my hair in a low bun. As i am sorting the papers and looking for a highlighter i start to have mind racing thoughts. I stop and start to cry. *phone buzzes* I grab my phone anxiously, "Could you come over?"
-Jenn I look at the piles of work on my desk and grab my keys, i quickly run out the door trying not to think about anything. I slam my door shut and then suddenly run into my landlord. "Alyx?" Sorry i'm in a rush, as i brush past him i try to catch up with my feet and head on down to the parking garage. I jump in my car and put the car in drive. I try to exit and get on the main road as quick as i can, forgetting my seatbelt as always. I make it to jenn's apartment complex after a few turns here and there.
"I'm on my way up x" -Alyx
As i'm racing towards the elevator, i hear "Alyx!" Oh, hey!
"What are you doing, you going up to Jenns?"
Yeah i'm coming over for a while.
"I'll ride up with you then."

I tuck my hair behind my ears and start to bite my nails. We arrive to level three and i say bye to Lauren and head up to jenn's apartment above. I ring the doorbell and the door opens almost instantly. Hey, are you okay? "Yeah, i'm fine?" Jesus christ i smile. I basically ran three red lights to get here quickly. "What the hell why?" She laughs mockingly. BITCH, YOU ACTED LIKE SOMETHING WAS WRONG. "Oh yeah i did that so you would come over." I give her a plain look and she does it back until we break out into laughter. I feel something running and tugging around my feet. Come here Finn! I say in the squeakiest voice. "Okay so the Bachelor is on at 8, I'm having Lauren come over because cameron is away on a family trip. Do you want chinese?" Chinese is good, hey when do you start filming for foursome again? "Next week once i'm back from Japan." God damn, i can't believe you guys are having a season five? "I know i love it but i feel so tired all the time. Honestly whenever we start filming for that whole time period i feel like actual trash." What do you mean? "Its a fourteen hour work day six days a week, i have no time for anyone not even myself. My moms getting older and i need to fly out to her once a month. And all of these projects are ruthless." I stop her from talking by grabbing her hand and putting it into mine. You're going to be okay alright? I tell her softly as i look at her beautiful blue green eyes. Just breathe, take everything at once. "Okay." Jenn smiles. Lauren barges in with two bottles of Chardonnay, "ALRIGHT LADIES, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED." Jenn laughs, and grabs the wine. Alyx grabs three wine glasses and phones the chinese place down the street. As Lauren and jenn are laying blankets on the floor in front of the t.v. Jenn stops to look at Alyx. She smiles and looks away before Alyx could see Jenn starring.

8:30 p.m.

Alyx and jenn are cuddled up on the floor in a blanket. Alyx pauses and thinks about the moment. How good she feels right now. She stops to think how before she came over to see Jenn, she was crying and stressed out. She realizes that when she's with jenn all of the bad thoughts go away and she's free. Lauren slowly sips her wine, and looks down at the floor. She sees Jenn cuddled up to Alyx. She smiles, and continues sipping her wine.
9:23 a.m.
Jenn opens her eyes softly, she moves carefully being that Alyx had fallen asleep in her lap. She moves Alyx's head onto the floor and covers her with a blanket, kissing her forehead. She goes on over to her kitchen and grabs a mason jar for water. She heads into her office to look at Youtube comments, and to stalk her fans on twitter. She stumbles upon a tweet, " When you are starting to fall for your best friend." She retweets.

Hurting

Okay do you have everything? I ask as i grab Jenns bags. "I think so, i don't even know." Jenn drops everything out of anger and stress. "God, i wish i could fucking postpone everything just for a month." Hey hey calm down, everything's gonna be alright, okay? You're gonna go to japan get some work done, see your fans and then once you're back you can have a day to yourself and relax. "Okay." Jenn said while taking a deep breath. "I think i have everything." Your uber is outside, you gotta go. "Okay thank you for watching Finn again." Jenn says as she hugs Alyx. No problem, stay focused and live in the moment when you're there, okay. "Okay, and Alyx?" What. Jenn whispers in Alyx's ear,

"That day when i come home and relax, i want you with me."

She quickly grabs her suitcase and her backpack and heads out the door.

1:25 p.m.

I grab my vlogging camera and sigh "Hey guys, ahh i'm in a bad mood." I just got home from working out, but i can't shake how i'm feeling. Jenn's in Japan and i'm staying at her house because i'm watching Finn. If you don't know who Finn is, He's her dog. I miss her, i'm used to having her around all the time. Well for now i'm just gonna make avocado toast and do some work that i need to finish. *phone buzzes* "Hey, how are you? Miss you <3" - Jenn I'm good, i miss you too. Hows Japan? *Phone buzzes* "It's beautiful, the culture is so different and peaceful. I wish you could've came." Are you living in the moment? *Phone buzzes* "Yes x"
6:05 a.m. 7/25/20

*phone buzzes* "Hey where are you?"*
*phone buzzes* "Alyx?"
*Phones buzzes* "Did you oversleep?"

8:30 a.m.

I wake up to Finn licking my face and whining. I rub my eyes and go to grab my phone. I look at the time and then blink to make sure i saw it correctly. I see all of the missed calls and unread texts from Jenn. Fuck. I put pants and a hoodie on as quick as i can, and grab my keys and run down to the garage. I start the car and call jenn as i start to hit the road. I'm so sorry! I slept through my alarm, i literally just woke because of finn. Are you okay? "ALYX, YOU BITCH."
IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TOO.
"IM JOKING ITS FINE, smh forgetting to pick me up." Stopppp, im pulling in right now. I said as i see jenn standing outside with her bags looking tired and jet lagged. You look great, i said as i laughed. "Mhm, i look like shit i know."

9:45 a.m.

I cover jenn in a blanket, go to sleep. "I just got home, i need to unpack." I'll do it for you, go to sleep. "I slept the whole flight home." You need more sleep, you look terrible. "Thanks" Jenn laughed. "Will you lay down with me at least?" I lay down beside her looking straight into her eyes. How was Japan? "It was incredible, i had a lot of time to think about things." Like what? I say as i rub her head. "How everything is going to be okay, and how im so lucky to have what i have." I'm happy you are okay, i was worried about you. I love you so much Jenn. I freeze. What did i just say, i start anxiously talking fast. "I love you too." Im sorr- wait what. Jenns smiles, and leans over and presses her palm against Alyx's cheek and kisses her lips.