Second Person

All We Have is All We Need

You were unhappy. There really wasnt any other term for it. You were distinctly unhappy. There wasnt a doubt about it. Yet, peculiarly enough, you didnt have a thing to be unhappy about. Nothing terribly bad was happening, nothing large was about to have a bad outcome. There was nothing to make you unhappy, yet there you were, a scowl on your face feeling anything but happy.

There were many things to be happy about, of that you were vaguely aware, but you didnt know how to make them make you happy. One surely couldnt make oneself feel something at least not something positive. Positivity was quite a fickle thing after all. It couldnt be healthy to force any emotion, especially when you werent feeling even a shred of it. At least, you were convinced so. But if unhappiness was unhealthy and forcing yourself to be happy was unhealthy, then was there really any healthy option? If there wasnt a healthy option, then was the illusion of happiness really the worst possible outcome? You decided no, it wasnt such a bad outcome (a positive thought in its own right).

Slowly you forced yourself to be happier about things. Even if you didnt find a joke particularly funny, you forced yourself to smile and laugh. When you were with your friends you tried to smile a lot more than you normally would. Smile at teachers more in the hallway. Generally, try to leech more enjoyment out of all activities.

You even tried to give yourself more reasons to be happy. You tried to make your friends, your best friend in particular, smile more often. You tried new things and found quite a few things you got a lot of enjoyment out of. You took in the places you were in a lot more, took in the beauty all around you. Although it all helped, you found out rather quickly that what made you the happiest was making your best friend happy. Sure, there were a few other people who held the privilege of doing the same, but first and foremost, and the only one who was able to make you authentically happy, was your best friend. They didnt have to do anything, just barely smile, not even at you, and you already felt better. Hell, they could even make you smile after (probably even during) a funeral, and not just any smile, a smile that hurt because of how real it was. Thats how happy they made you.

What made that interesting to you is that they were, in the grand scheme of things, a very small part of your life. Yet, as will all of the other things that had been greatly bolstering your mood, they meant so much. More than all of the big things, more than the biggest thing in the world, whatever that might be. Talking to them, hanging out with them, whatever it may be, you were reminded of a thought that both scared and amazed you. You could get a full ride scholarship to the best college in the world and get to do any program you wanted, all for free and youd give it up in a heartbeat if it meant you couldnt talk to them anymore. Yeah, school makes you happy, but nothing lifts your mood more than them.

Youve been through enough best friends for the thought of one to look all but insignificant, but, to you, they werent insignificant. They kept you alive, kept you smiling even when it felt impossible to smile, even when you felt like it was physically impossible. You would move mountains if they asked. Hell, you would switch religions for them if they asked. Making someone else happy hardly sounded like a big thing at all, but it was all that ever mattered to you. You would give up anything to make people happy, especially if it was for them.

Maybe there wasnt anything spectacularly large to make you happy. Maybe there wasnt anything spectacularly large going on in your life at all. However, putting a pencil to paper, doing a math problem, putting earbuds in and drifting into whimsical fantasy worlds, they were enough to bring a smile to your face. Plus, when all else failed, your best friend was always there to smile you into happiness. Scars and all, life wasnt too bad after all. Besides, the most spectacularly large thing anyone could ever wish for in their life was a good person at their side, and you were lucky, you had, you have, the best.