The Alpha's Nerd.

14. Shattered.

Kellan's POV:

And I guess I feel lost. I have been for a while now, instead of getting better it gets worse and I might have just given up on myself. Have I given up on you? No I haven't cause, maybe when you left, I think my heart, knew your heart would somehow stay.. right where it truly belongs. So now I roam these halls, with an empty void, an empty space so hollow, it feels incomplete. But I guess it feels natural.

I guess I have to get used to it.. living a life without you, but how do you go on, without something that meant so much to you?
Two hearts seem broken, or maybe its just one heart ever so slowly beating, it refuses to feel pain it just keeps beating, to let us know that we are alive.
Do I think of you?  No at least I try not to, but then again I would be telling myself, the biggest lie. Maybe my life was a lie, maybe what we had was a lie. A very structured believable lie. You know what? I believed it, with the most certainty. Maybe I was doomed, already doomed as I slowly, but surely fell for you.

Do you know what actually makes it hard? To know that whilst you fall, there's no way of escaping it.  That while I still fall, I hope that you would save me. But then, how do you save someone else, when you try to so miserably save yourself? I think that is, what the world is reduced to. Where love, feelings, are a game to be played with. I think in the process we do not realise, how much we scar the person, that for once may actually, truly love us but they we act blind.

I did the right thing by quitting my job. I couldn't be stuck in a place, that reminded me of her, in a job that was the reason I met her and in a hell that I couldn't escape. Hell has different versions. For some its betrayal, for some its trust, but my hell was love.. I fell in love with a girl, that was too broken to love herself, but when she loved me, she made me feel that, that kind of love did exist. I searched my entire life, for the kind of love that would either heal you, or destroy you. She did both effortlessly. Healed me, while slowly destroying me. My personal hell is a girl, who I love, who loves me but she can't love herself. They say relationships are hell. Are they really, or do people strive for the perfect, that even the most perfect relationship, between two imperfect people, begins to turn into an unending hell.

She still makes me feel so in love. She shattered me, but then if the heart breaks, a million times in love, so can I.
You still make me happy, I guess this is the happiest and so in love that I ever will be.

Chapter 14.
We are nearing the end guys!!
Yay or nay?
Just to give Kellan's Perspective.
I know you guys missed him.
So vote comment follow even.
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