HIM

blue eyes and sleepless nights

I can't sleep again.
My pillow is already soaking wet.
I guess your blue eyes still haunt me.
Gosh i am useless.
Crying over a guy that ignored me for the past 8 months.
I guess all the lies you have feed me, makes me believe you will come back to me.
Just another lie i tell myself, beliving hoping that i deserve more then the shadow that haunts me.
It leave me alone, you know the shadow, it still hurts me every night.
Leaving me with scars, pains and burns.
The nightmares started again, and every bit of light is slowly vanishing.
I am so unclean, i wish i could go back to the start and say no.
I have so much regrets, its eating me alive.

Why you, i ask myself that question every day.
I wish i didn't meet you.
Now that i think of it, i am the story that every guy has "crazy chick that won't take a hint"
Sorry for that. I was just worried but hey, you are free now aren't you.
I wonder what that feels like freedom.
Going where your heart tells you.
Following the wind.
Smiling for real.
Never hiding your feeling.
Sleep all night.
Chilling with friends and goofing off.
You are so cute when you do.

Gosh i am a mess.
I wish i had appreciated my life a few years back.
I wish i wasn't so easily influenced.
I would be normal and happy.
Real happiness.

I want real happiness so bad, it hurt just thinking about having a real smile.

A REAL SMILE......