chapter seven

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so so so so sorry for not updating this. i couldn't find a good direction for it that captured my interest, but with a few new twists and a some new ideas from the last jedi, we are all set to finish this out :-)

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"Daddy, aren't you coming with us?"

Adhara's soft voice shattered your heart. Kylo froze on the spot and stared at her with sympathetic eyes. You went over to her and picked her up.

"I am coming with you, love," he said, "but I'm not staying."

Her eyebrows pulled together. "Why not?"

Alula had the same look on her face as her sister. "Why aren't you coming with us and Mama, Daddy?"

"I have... a job to do," he said.

Adhara blinked once and then turned away from her father. She pressed her small face in your neck and hid in your hair. You patted her in the center of her back and then shifted her to one arm, reaching for Alula's hand.

"Come on, darling," you said, trying to keep the strain out of your voice. "Our things will be brought on board with us."

Silently, you and you daughters walked out of the room, leaving a heartbroken Kylo behind.

                            ...

When you landed on Jakku, Kylo made sure to find a place where no life had touched. It was all sand and horizon, with a tiny and well hidden hut encased in the side of a dune.

There was a water supply and a large enough home to house your three daughters and some. You were grateful for the space, at least.

You let your daughters find a room of their own. There was only a small hallway that included two doors. The floors were sandy. Sand crunched beneath your boots.

Kylo stayed behind you, watching as servants from your planet brought in your last bit of belongings. You bid them farewell with embraces and kisses on the cheeks and watched them go.

The room was silent as Kylo stood at the door, eyeing you tearfully.

You sniffed and looked to the ground. "I want you to know that our girls will not be allowed to think of you as anything but their loving father. They will not resent you."

"Thank you," he said softly. "And you?"

"You are my life," you breathed, looking up at him as tears spilled from your lashes. "And I will love you until the galaxies end and our lives come to a close. You are my husband and my commander... and I hope the war ends soon." You walked over to him and he slouched forward. His nose almost touched yours. "I will pray the Force wills the war to end so that we can be together soon, my love."

"I will as well," he said, eyes shifting from your left to right. He raised a hand and wiped your tears with a gloved thumb. You caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "I will fight harder knowing that you are out of harm's way."

You nodded. "Be careful," you pleaded. You kissed him on the hand again. "Don't be reckless. Be strong in the Force and remember your training-" You wrapped your arms around Kylo's neck. "And distance yourself from Snoke, no matter the cost," you whispered desperately in his ear.

He wrapped his arms around you. A sense of dread filled him. The cost just might be your life.

"I love you," he declared, kissing the side of your head. He kissed your cheek, then the corner of your mouth, then your lips. Deeply. "I love you so much."

"I love you," you breathed.

Feeling the presence of his daughters, Kylo stepped away. He blinked away tears as he knelt before his two little girls and looked into their brown eyes.

"My princesses," he breathed. He reached for both their hands. Alula allowed him to touch her, but Adhara jerked her arm away, tears springing into her eyes. Kylo flinched but didn't try to touch her again. "My beautiful girls... I love you. I promise to be back for you as soon as I can."

"Okay Daddy," Alula whispered. She stepped into his arms and placed her head on his chest. "I love you."

"And I, you," he said. He kissed her.

Adhara wouldn't move. She just cried silently.

He looked at her. "I love you, my Adhara."

No reply.

He stood. Turning to you, he wrapped an arm around you again and crushed you against him, passionately kissing you on the lips.

"I will see you again, Princess," he promised, his lips brushing against yours. He pulled back.

With teary eyes, you watched your husband leave.

                            ...

Days turned to weeks, and as the first month mark approached, you and your daughters fell into a schedule that worked well.

You cooked breakfast while they slept, allowed them to wake up on their own to plates full of different foods that were stocked in the home. After eating, they would practice their Force using. Then, you would let them play outside in the sand. Dinner followed, then story time, then bed. It was peaceful and perfect - aside from the painful absence of your husband.

Going to bed without him sent you into tears every night. You struggled to keep from waking your girls through the thin wall that separated you and them.

Then, as if the crying wasn't enough, you would get sick with worry in your sleep.

After a night of crying, barely sleeping, and worrying in your dreams, you would wake up to the feeling of your stomach twisting and bile rising. You would get sick in the bathroom every morning without fail.

You were cutting pieces of bread and topping them with a fruit spread for breakfast when Alula looked up from her toys. She always brought them to the table.

"Mama?"

"Yes, my love?"

She looked around. "Is Daddy here?"

You stopped. "No... no he is not. I will tell you when he comes," you said. Your eyes filled with tears. If.

"Do you feel it too, Adhara?" she whispered.

You turned to face them. "What are you talking about? Feel what? Can you feel your father?"

Adhara shrugged. "I... don't know, Mama. It feels close. But someone is here."

You stepped closer to them. "No one is here, my loves. We're alone." As you placed a hand on Alula's back, you felt a single nudge inside of you. You gaped.

The girls looked at your stomach. You placed a palm on the center. It seemed incredible and foreign to feel the Force move through the tiny heartbeat in your stomach, right through the baby you didn't know was inside of you.

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