Don't Whistle Past the Graveyard

Ch. Thirty-Two

That was probably when the nightmares started. At least, that's when I really started noticing them.

This first one had a few combined elements.

We were in another house with big windows, except this time, it was Shane who went through the glass. For some reason, it was that little girl zombie. I don't know if you remember her? You do?

I'm not saying it's even relatively possible, but she somehow managed to tackle Shane through the window. Then he was on the ground, with a zombie on top of him. He didn't have a weapon, and I was too slow.

He got bit again, but it wasn't his shoulder. It was his throat.

I killed the little girl again, but she wasn't a zombie. She was a little girl, crying for her mother.

All I could do was watch Shane bleed out, choking and reaching toward me, his eyes pleading with me. Begging me to make it stop.

But I couldn't.

Then, I couldn't stop him from coming back.

That's an oldie but a goodie. I find most of my nightmares are recurring.

What about yours?

I woke up, choking on screams I didn't dare let out, even subconsciously. Gasping in a great shaking breath, I jerked upright, cold sweat slicking my skin, making my shirt stick to me uncomfortably.

In a weird, probably twisted way, I was happy Shane wasn't in the bed with me when I woke up. Part of me didn't want him to see me like that.

I still don't, but I know he has. He's never asked though.

My eyes burned like I'd been crying and I pressed the heels of my hands into them, trying to shake off the nightmare. I jumped when an unfamiliar voice asked, "Are you okay?"

I looked up to find Viktoria watching me from the door. I tried to smile, failed miserably and said, "Um. Yeah. Just a..." The images flashed in my head again. "Just a dream."

Viktoria nodded, still looking at me warily, like I might lash out. She shifted from foot to foot and said, "Shane asked me to get you. He wants to go soon."

I nodded, the movement a little jerky and she turned to leave, then stopped. Her eyes flicking between me and the dark wood of the floor, she asked, "What was it? Your nightmare?"

Chewing at the inside of my cheek, I said, "Shane died. Bled out in front of me and I... I couldn't stop it. I couldn't do anything. I just let him die."

I frowned. I hadn't really meant to answer her so candidly but I'd been so startled by the fact that she'd asked, I couldn't stop my answer.

I flung the blankets back and started putting on my boots. Viktoria rocked onto her heels awkwardly, hands going into her back pockets.

She only said something when I moved to walk past her. "Thank you."

I stopped. "For?"

"For..." Viktoria paused, searching for words. "Helping," she finally said, seeming to settle on the word reluctantly. "For being..." again the search for a word, "good." Again settling on something she seemed to find insufficient.

I nodded, not really sure how to answer. I couldn't decide if good was the right word anymore. I went to walk by her again, and she placed a hand on my arm before just as quickly taking it away. Her brown eyes showing her frustration easily, she said, "I mean it."

Apparently my own indecision had been read as disbelief. I smiled and said what I thought. "I just don't think that's the right word, Viktoria. I don't think it's a word that means anything any more."