Chapter 5

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“Did you text her?” Niall asked nervously, bouncing his legs higher and jarring the table. The girls dove to steady their smoothies.

“Yes, for the last time, I texted her. She’s on her way. Jet lag, you know. She said she slept from the time she got home yesterday until noon today. Touring Europe is exhausting,” Ronnie reassured.

“Yeah, Niall, no worries. She’ll be here,” Finn soothed.

“My flowers are wilting. Should I go get another bouquet? This one isn’t good enough, is it? Oh, God, I should’ve just stayed in Ireland,” Niall breathed.

“Hey, buddy, you’re fine. She’s fucking crazy about you. You could show up butt naked and she wouldn’t care,” India quipped.

“Oh, I think she’d care,” Finn said with raised eyebrows.

“Whatever,” India said. “Point is, she’ll just be thrilled you’re here.”

“Oh my God. That’s her. That’s her. Shit shit shit. She’s so beautiful.” Niall began to hyperventilate as Grace came into view around the corner of the mall food court. She was looking around at all the shops and she stopped, not unpredictably, at the Japanese stand. They were too far away to hear what she was ordering, but the girls already knew exactly what she’d arrive at the table with. Two scoops of rice, because “one isn’t a sufficient pairing for the amount of sauce they give,” an order of beef and vegetable stir-fry (extra vegetables), no peppers, and a pair of chopsticks because “forks are overrated.” Each of the girls had had to buy lunch for Grace at one point or another, and each one had gotten it wrong at least once. They had been coached on exactly how to order it.

They all shared a look and cracked up. Niall looked worried.

“Relax, boy!” Finn laughed. “As long as you eat half as much mall food as she does, you’re good.”

Grace grabbed her food and looked around for her friends. When she spotted Ronnie, who was standing up, waving her over, she grinned and hurried. She was already talking at top speed as she walked up.

“Guess what I ordered! I haven’t had Japanese in so long! Kiyoko still remembered my order, though, so-” and she stopped. She set her food down on the table and took a step back. “What the hell?”

“Hey, Grace,” Niall said sheepishly, his smile widening.

“Don’t you fucking ‘hey, Grace’ me!” Her words came out harsh, but her face was pure shock.

“What?” he said, obviously startled.

“You think you can ignore my texts and calls for weeks and then show up in my hometown and say ‘hey, Grace’ with no explanation? No contact? Asshole!”

“Whoa, doggie.” India got out of her chair and took Grace by the arm. “He flew a thousand fucking miles to be here with you so calm the fuck down. Sit,” she ordered, gesturing to her empty seat. Grace took a breath.

“Can you guys give us a while? I swear I won’t hurt him. Physically. Swear,” she said, holding up her hands. Her friends nodded and grabbed their stuff.

“Meet us at PacSun in an hour?” Finn asked. Grace nodded.

“Oh, my God. I’m barely processing this. Your hair. Holy shit. Your hair,” she whispered, reaching out to touch it.

“Lilac,” he said.

“No kidding,” she breathed.

“When we were on the tour, that garden with all the lilacs, you just kept taking pictures...you loved them.”

“They were my grandmother’s favorite,” she explained.

“Yeah, you said that. I...I wanted to keep a part of you, even after all that, excuse me, shit, you fed me. I knew in my heart you didn’t mean it, Grace. You couldn’t have. I know you felt how I did. Oh, and I got you this,” he said, pulling out the bouquet. Lilacs.

“How are you even here? I didn’t give any of the girls your number, I don’t think.”

“They did some digging, I guess. They found the pub’s Facebook page with the number and they asked for me, and it went from there.”

“I can’t believe they did all that for me.”

“They really love you.”

Grace seemed to come out of some haze. “What the fuck, Niall? You can’t just show up...here.” She flung her arms up in reference to the tile and bright lights around them. “Show up here and think that everything is automatically okay!”

“Let’s take it back a step, princess.” He used the word with annoyance. “You left me. You told me that you didn’t love me. You stepped on my heart. You threw me out with the garbage. You CANNOT pull the victim card here. Maybe, up in your privileged little head, you think that I came here to beg for your forgiveness, to ask you to take me back. That’s the farthest thing from the truth, miss. Listen here. I came back to let you know that I think we could be something great, if you take down your fucking walls and let me in. That’s you, isn’t it? Flirting and playing, but when it takes a turn for the serious, you run away before you have a chance to get hurt. And you let everyone else feel the pain instead.” He spoke with disgust and truth, so much truth.

“I don’t kn-”

“The least you can do is let me say my piece before you run away again and I have to waste another thousand dollars on you. Grace, I’m here as your wake up call. You can’t keep doing this. You can say it all you want, that you just didn’t think it would work out between us, but it’ll never be true. I don’t believe that I was just another fling to be flung, Grace. I know what we have is different Grace,” he paused, reaching across the table to take her hand. She pulled away and turned her head to the side. “Don’t, Grace. Why can’t this work, now? My gap year is almost over but I have a little more time to get university applications sent out. I could apply here, Grace. In America. You mean that much to me. What are you so afraid of?” His voice got rough and husky.

“I thought it was best,” she began in a whisper. “I was feeling all these things that I had never felt before and it was like one of those Nicholas Sparks books but those are fiction, Niall. Stupid made-for-the-movies works of fiction. I couldn’t imagine a good ending. I couldn’t picture an ending with me and you together, unscathed. That’s me. I never see anything working out in my favor. I can’t change that. I didn’t want to dwell on the possibility that I had stumbled upon something real, something tangible. I couldn’t fathom these ideas of fate and destiny and true love and how the hell did I end up in your pub, out of all places, and what were the chances that it was meant to be? What were my chances to be happy? And I thought, it has to be an accident, what I’m feeling isn’t real, and I never doubted that you felt the same way I did, but I had to be the strong one and break it off, because why on earth would we originate from such different places if we were meant to be together? It just didn’t make sense, Niall.”

“Maybe you’re too caught up in finding what’s supposed to happen. Just let what happens happen.”

~~~

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