To Never Forget

Trying to get myself familiar with the foreign sois of Thailand, I was once chanced to pass one street jammed with people, little stalls, and Thai streetfoods. The sight and sound was a little overwhelming, immediately triggering my fear of crowds. I was about to desert the premises when my heart was caught by an aroma both strange and familiar – the smoky, sweet smell of something being grilled on an open fire.

The peculiarly attractive scent ignited memories I thought were kept away, memories so strong it's pleasant and painful at the same time...

Cold night. The sad yellow flickers of distant streetlamps. The smell of a 10-peso barbecue on that city circle. Your black backpack. Shy smiles. Me telling you that you look better than your profile picture. It was our first meetup.

You calling me fat; me returning the favor by calling you twig. You commenting I've got good smile. Me appreciating your eyes.

Cool October breeze. People passing by – silent and remote. Me saying the night sky is more beautiful without the moon, as it gives room for the pretty glitters of the stars – you saying otherwise. You pointing out the powerful charm of the dark, me defending the beauty of the light.

The moment I discovered your sketchpad, and you searching my bag stumbled upon my notebook.

You uncovering your story in your sketches. Me letting slip my hidden self by allowing you to read my poems. You complimenting my art, me lauding your craft.

Getting-to-know-each-other talk. From the surface, to somewhere special, to somewhere deep. You sharing the story of how your mother died, me telling you how I lost my dad.

Time rushing out. The want of going home being defeated by the want to stay with you longer. Night going deeper, both of us opening dark doors we never tried to open with anybody before.

You telling me of the voices in your head, you opening up on your hidden pain, you revealing the reasons behind the many scars on your wrist. All of these while summing up the heart to understand the sadness behind my smiles.

You. Your voice. Your eyes. Your heart.

I was reminded of all these.

Smell has a magic of bringing memories back to life – and this scent brought back that night I can't muster enough sense to forget.

That night. That night you unknowingly took my heart.