Inside Your Heart: A Sterek AU Fanfiction

Chapter Five

Today was finally the day. Two weeks Stiles had been going to school, then the hospital; then work, then the hospital; then home, then the hospital; but no more. Today was Derek's release day and maybe things could be semi-normal. He could now go to school...then Derek's... then work... then Derek's... then home... then Derek's...Okay so maybe it won't be so normal. Stiles thought, but he realized that "normal" wouldn't normal for a while, at least until he didn't have to watch over Derek, and even then...

Derek and Stiles had been forced to spend a lot of time together in the last couple of weeks. At first it was spent with silence, a nurse or doctor coming in every once in a while to check on Derek, and then more silence. It wasn't until a couple of days ago when Stiles realized that if he was going to spend so much time with Derek, he may want to know him more than "Scott's kind of friend" or "Ethan's hookup" or his sister's ex. He asked Derek about college, he was going to UCONN in a couple of months so he wanted to know about the campus life and everything (or at least that's what he told Derek) and from there the conversation continued.

Ever since his break up with Caitlin, Stiles had been a little confused. Not like, "Damn he's cute. Is that gay? Am I gay?" confused, or even "This guy is more interesting than anyone I've ever met. Do I like him?" confused, he was just overall confused. He was confused on his life. He wanted to know why a guy like Derek would go out with a bitch like Jennifer. He wanted to know why he was friends with Scott when Derek had been in Beacon Hills, why he hadn't ditched his douche of a friend and talked to someone more interesting. Stiles had been stuck; he was still stuck.

Nothing had changed in the two weeks that Derek was in the hospital. Stiles went to school and dealt with bullshit. He dealt with shit from Scott about his bike, from Aidan about Scott's bike, from Ethan about Danny (Stiles had accidentally knocked Danny over in practice and dislocated his shoulder ended up dislocated), from Allison about Isaac (now that Scott's bike was "wrecked," Isaac was spending more time with Scott than her), from Coach about Danny, and from his shit-faced dad about Derek.

And that's why Stiles was confused. He enjoyed just being with Derek over anything else (even though a lot was better than his normal). Being with Derek was different. Derek made him think and question things. When he was with Derek, he was content.

And this one day, Stiles wrote in his journal (it was "the new fad" his therapist claimed).

It was raining. Derek and I were talking, just about life and stuff, and somehow we ended up talking about Jennifer. And Derek said he was sorry. And I asked why and he just shook his head and he said that he knew that deep down Jen still loved me and that she was just angry. And that was it. We just sat there, and after a couple minutes of silence, the sky just opened up and the sun shone through the windows as if it was some type of queue. Like someone or something was trying to say to us "Okay guys time to start talking again, your bullshit silence is getting boring." And I laughed and all of a sudden Derek started laughing too and we were just laughing and at some point I started tearing up and I was just laughing and everything felt okay. Then we sat in silence until the doctor came in. I don't know, it's not that important but it felt like things were supposed to be that way all the time. Like I had got a glimpse of actual happiness. He seems to be able to make me think, think about the deeper things. I secretly hope he never gets fully better. I want,

Stiles stopped writing and crossed out the beginning of his last sentence.

I want  I need to be around him.

Stiles heard someone coming up behind him and he quickly shut his journal.

"Yo, what were you writing?" Scott asked, he sounded like he was waiting for something.