Agents of Shield // Philinda One Shots

Cancer

"We're now going to hear a few words from her ehmm boyfriend, Agent Phil Coulson"

Coulson never wanted to speak at a funeral. He hated it. All these people, crying about a person they didn't know.

But this was worse. Only a few had known May, the real May. Many of the attendings at her funeral were powerful people, but there was almost  no family.

Daisy and the team was here, they sat next to him in the first row. Behind them, he saw Maria Hill and the Avengers. Mays mother wanted to be here, but she was sick also and her dad had to take care of himself.

"Mr Coulson, you're coming?" Phil looked at the priest. He stepped aside and ga've Phil the microphone.

"Ehmm Hi" Phil started. He wasn't prepared for this. He knew she would die. But they said she would have months, and she only had weeks.

"I really don't know what to say. I mean, I could tell you about Mays true personality, but that would probably take forever. So I'm talking about our story.

Normally, I wouldn't start at the end but I kinda have too" he looked into the crowed, and seeing Daisy cry like this would have broken his heart but it already was.

"To make it short. I never thought I would be able to say goodbye to May. Shield Agents should die as hero's, saving th world. But she didn't.

She was taff, always caring about everyone except her without showing it. Maybe she would still be here if she would have told us about her headaches or the dizziness.

In the end we sat there, waiting for the results of her brain scan and she took my hand.

I've been close to her, but I always wanted more. "Phil" she said "we should have done this before" and then she kissed me.

I know, we kissed before. But this time it was different. It was real, no cameras or lmds.

I wish we would have done this before, or we would have been able to do this again, but the reality isn't always as nice as we think it is.

She died 2 weeks later. Brain cancer. Nobody could have helped her."

Phil noticed a single tear, rolling down his cheek.

"Now we have to jump back in time, to our first mission. I was young and reckless and I fell in love with a young Asian woman.

We went on a mission together, undercover, pretending to be married. In that night, we had sex.

I thought that maybe, one day, we would marry. So I kept our rings. I still have them"

He took them put of his Pocket and turned to Mays casket.

"Melinda, I know its too late and we shouldnt have wasted all the Time we had together, but I wanted you to know, that I loved you.

I still do. I dont wanna life without you. I should have told you that the night you saved me from these russians. "

He stopped and took a deep breath.

"So what I wanted to tell you y'all" He turned back to the crowed and faced Daisy and Robbie.

"If you love someone tell 'em. Life ends fast. And we can't do something against it. I did many mistakes in my life, but this is the one I regret the most.

If Aida would create a new framework I wouldn't end up as teacher anymore. Losing May made me realise that I don't regret becoming an agent. Because of that I met her.

I regret not telling her that I love her. I would give everything to change that. Don't get me wrong, I really dont wanna end up in a computer simulation again, but please, never waste any time. Time is Gold.

You will only regret the things you didn't say to your loved ones"

Phil stood there, crying. He didn't plan to say all this stuff.

Steve came to him, trapping his shoulder and brining him back down to his seat "you're right buddy, I only regret the things I didn't say to Peggy. But"

Steve stoopens and looked into Phil's eyes "being there for May, helping her all the time, is the best thing you could have done for her and she'll never forget that."