What Is Love

Chapter 2

It was supposed to be a one-shot but it would seem I am incapable of that.

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Sehun's POV

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It was silent between the two of us, but it wasn't the uncomfortable silence I thought it would be. No, it was almost like we were...maybe not friends, but I couldn't call him a stranger anymore. Junmyeon sipped his coffee, taking in the settings around us. I'd found the shop easy enough. It was right outside my neighborhood. Junmyeon had been waiting, sitting with one leg over the other, quietly reading with a coffee on the table. I went and got my own drink, then sat opposite him. I'd actually texted him shortly after I got home last night, letting him know that I'd made it home fine. He must've remembered who I was.

"I see you're in one piece this morning," he suddenly said, peering over the pages of his book. I started, unaware I'd spaced off. "Did you remember to take anything for your hangover before you rushed over here?" I slowly shook my head, and he tisked at me. "Well you seem to be doing alright," he said at last. He went back to his book. I stared at the table top for a long time.

"What do you want from me?" I suddenly blurted. He looked up, one eyebrow raised. "I mean..." I continued awkwardly. "You hardly know me. Yet you've invited me out to coffee. You've been so nice to me. You even remind me so much of Luhan it..." I trailed off, realizing what I just said. Junmyeon tilted his head to the side.

"Luhan?" he asked. "Who's that?" I ducked my head, my ears burning. How dare I say his name in a time like this. "Sehun?" he asked. I looked up. He looked concerned. "Should I at least be touched I remind you so much of this boy?"

"Yes," I said immediately, and a very small smile touched his features. "Luhan is just as caring and careful as you seem to be. He always cares for others, often before himself. He also loves helping people and making them smile." With each new thing, Junmyeon smiled a little wider. I did feel a little guilty. "You and Luhan would've gotten along actually," I added.

"Maybe," he agreed, linking his fingers together and leaning forward. "So tell me Sehun, what happened to Luhan?" I blinked. "I see the sadness on your face, even though you talk so highly of him. I can hear the catch in your voice every time his name leaves your lips. So if you don't mind sharing with someone you just met, what happened?"

"He..." I began. I took a deep breath. "He was my boyfriend of three years, and my friend for even longer. We were nearly inseparable in the time we were together. It was always Sehun and Luhan, wherever we went. He was the other half of me, my better half. He was also everything to me. I couldn't imagine a life without him. He was my whole world. I loved him so much. I didn't know how not to. And for a long time, he loved me just as much.

"Except now he doesn't. One day he called me up and told him to meet at our favorite little diner. I ran over there, and he sat next down and said we needed to talk. He was very calm about the whole thing, saying that he still loved me so very much, but he was no longer in love with me. I didn't understand. In some ways, I still don't. How do you ever fall out of love with someone?" I paused in my story, seeing if Junmyeon had answers. He did not. "He said he wanted to let me go, to let me find someone who would love me the way I deserved. But I didn't want someone else. I wanted Luhan. He's all I want. I...I don't understand. Did I not love him enough? Was I not enough for him? How could three years of his life with me mean absolutely nothing to him now? What did I do?" Never before had I voiced those thoughts out loud. But once they started, they wouldn't stop. And neither would my tears. Junmyeon stood abruptly, circled around the table, and wrapped me in a hug.

"Oh Sehun," he said sadly. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea." And that was all he said. He didn't say it would get better. He didn't say anything else about Luhan, good or bad. He just stood there holding me while I cried into his shirt, letting out all the frustrations I felt. "Feeling better?" he asked after a bit. I pulled away, going rigid when he swiped a thumb under my eyes.