Not Sure of Anything

Chapter One

Young people have this desire to be spectacularly different. This is a quality that we are born with -- yet as we grow older we sow some desire to become perfectly "normal". Most of us give up on these visions of fairy tales and magic for these sane lives. This desire is innately engrained within us. Whether we realize it or not, most of us grow to find interest in some sort of monotony and routine. We often declare ourselves as "ruined" whenever thrown off. I never thought I'd turn out that way. I feared it just as everyone else did. Yet I had no idea that a literal tumble would transform my entire being into a fast spinning turntable, eradicating any dream I ever had of monotony.

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I suppose it wasn't an ordinary day. My mother hummed vicariously as she bustled through the house, so light on her feet it was almost as if she was dancing. She fluffed the curtains and the pillows on the couch, smiling ever so slightly. There was a large banner on the wall, declaring congratulations to my brother Harry and his fiancée, Elise, on their engagement. I watched her sway about as I sat at our breakfast bar drinking a glass of orange juice.

My mother was so ecstatic for Harry. She'd carefully thought out this engagement shower and insisted that it be held at our home. She was a magnificent hostess, illuminating celebration and joy from her very presence. The party wasn't going to be very big -- just consisting of our immediate family and friends that were in the area. My mother still treated the shindig as if she was hosting for celebrities. The best table settings were out and the house had never been cleaner. My father had walked in from working outside on the cars and got the scolding of a lifetime from his wife, who preceded to get down on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor to make sure it was just as spotless as before. Not that any of this mattered to my brother, who was engrossed by the gaming console in the living room. I wasn't sure that his beloved cared much more either for she hadn't even arrived herself.

I got up from my seat and washed my glass. "Make sure you put that where it goes. I better not see it sitting out when I walk back to the kitchen!" My mother warned, her Irish accent ringing through the next to empty house like a bell.

I half smiled and rolled my eyes as I placed the glass back in the cabinet. "Yes ma'am," I responded. I walked to the living room and looked outside. My parents were marrying off my brother and I didn't have that much longer in the house either. I was seventeen-years-old, a high school senior. My parents' property was my favorite place in the world and my favorite view was through the French doors. The thought of my brother leaving didn't make me sad but it did make the thought of me leaving more real. I bit the inside of my cheek. "Mum, I'm going to go for a walk." I called as I opened a French door.

"Alright that's fine but Faye, please. Don't be long and don't get messy because your brother's guests will be here soon and you need to be here too." I heard. I gently closed the door behind me. I thought my mother was making a far bigger deal of the party than necessary, or at least of my attendance. It's not as if I mattered to their engagement or the wedding.

I took a deep breath of the outside air. We lived on a rather secluded few acres of North Carolina. My property had belonged to my father's family before they made the decision to move closer to the bigger cities. I had lived most of my life on this handful of land and I loved everything about it. I stepped off of the porch and knew exactly what I wanted to do.

I wanted to climb a tree.

Climbing trees had always been a favorite activity of mine. Since I could walk I followed my older brother outside, trying to catch up to him even as he scaled the heights of the tall trees that surrounded our home. I strolled through our personal forest and smiled. There were several trees of which had little 'H's and 'F's carved into the bottom of the trunk. This was a symbol of conquest and victory for both of us. Occasionally there would be another letter -- the initial of a friend we talked into coming into the woods with us. As I walked further away from the house, the woods grew denser, tree widths wider and heights higher, and little 'H's and 'F's fewer and farther between.

I knew exactly what tree I wanted to climb though. I climbed every tree my brother did out of the natural, friendly sibling rivalry. There did come a time where Harry became much less interested in climbing trees and much more interested in girls. Contrary to my challenges and asides that Harry couldn't climb like I did, an activity that always included the two of us eventually became a hobby I did by myself. Though he didn't do the same for me, I climbed every tree that Harry did. There was one thing I promised Harry though. I would never carve my name into the tree trunk unless I reached the highest weight sustaining branch. There was only one tree that had an 'H' solitary of an 'F' and I planned to conquer it.

I came to the tree rather quickly. I bent down and fingered at the 'H' at the bottom. I smirked. I wished Harry was there though I knew he was probably shouting at the virtual machines on the television screen, as if his calls in the game really made a difference in the lives of others. We'd been close our entire lives, growing more distant as he progressed through his college years and even more so when he met his fiancée. I suppose it's how sibling relationships pan out. Wherever my older brother was, be it lost in the past or lost in a video game, I knew he'd want me to conquer this tree. That was how our relationship was and how it would continue to be, even if just on my end. I stood up with my hands on my hips and peeked to the top branches. I felt inspired. I wiped my hands on the back of my shirt and took my first bound up the tree.

The first branch was relatively high for my reach. I leaped up and grabbed the limb, missing the wood by centimeters for the first few attempts. When I finally was able to take hold of it, I laughed out loud to myself in triumph. Using all of my strength I pulled myself up until my torso was wrapped around the limb. After I was able to bring my entire body on top of the limb, I took a seat. I grinned and took in the surroundings and circumstances. Being early September, the weather was great for climbing. The temperature was beginning to cool down and the leaves in their very early stages of changing color. A better opportunity was unimaginable. I pulled myself up branch by branch, sometimes just by a step or so and others by luck. I was older now, stronger, so there were moves I could make now that were impossible before. The wind in my hair felt glorious. I laughed to myself as the adrenaline got to me. I had gotten so high so quickly, and there was nothing to stop me. The height had no affect on me. The shadows of leaves showered down on my body and the echoes of laughs from my childhood rang in my ears. I reached on, and didn't look down or think about stopping.

Then I was there. I was at the very top weight-sustaining branch. I leveraged myself and stood up to my full stature -- not that it's impressive, but I still felt incredibly powerful. I laughed and laughed and laughed, reaching my arms out above my head. "Eat that, Harry!" I let out in an elated bellow.

The sunshine soaked into my skin and I felt so alive. I never wanted to get down. I took a few steps forward on the branch, carefully watching each pace and making sure I kept my balance. I felt like a grand acrobat. I was further above the earth than I ever had been. I looked ahead of me and saw the road, winding through the trees. There was a car, trickling its way down. Surely my mother was complaining about how long I'd spent out and it was very possible that guests had already arrived. With a sigh I decided my time in the sky was complete, and performed the single worst maneuver of my entire life.

Forgetting my place, I span carelessly around on the branch to make my way down closer to the trunk. In this single movement my right foot slipped off of the tree limb...

And I fell.