irl

Chapter 40

July.

Phil was planning to hang out with George that evening at his house. Maybe rent a movie, shove their faces full of popcorn, share a few kisses.

Phil got into Dan's car after bidding his friend farewell, and drove off. The ride was silent, he had chosen to leave the radio off, letting himself get immersed in thought.

Ever since their walk, things had been slightly awkward and weird between Dan and Phil. They had spoken less ever since, and it had been about a week the night Phil drove to George's house.

There's something more to his off behavior. I know he likes me and it probably hurts, but he's not telling me how much it's really hurting him, but it's not like I can ask him. He can't know that I know, it would completely destroy him. I also can't help but be guilty dating George. I mean, of course I love him but Dan's emotional state isn't healthy. I care too much for him, but maybe he'll get over it. If I give it time, maybe it'll all be okay and Dan will recover.

But I've know George for nearly half a year, and I've been dating him most of that time. It's okay, though, Dan's tough. He can get through this, he has Louise, anyways. She's a great support system from what I've heard, and she, no doubt, knows about all of this. He's probably confided in her and she's helping him. They're great friends and she's a great person. Dan is fine, let yourself be selfish for once, Phil.

~•~

"You, too? Seriously?" Dan said, irritated into his phone. He was on a call with Louise.
"You really don't seem okay... I mean if Phil is concerned... if he can see that you're hurting, it has to be serious."
"Yeah, no shit I'm hurting, but I'm okay otherwise. It's not that bad, I promise."
"You haven't called me that much recently, I thought it might've been because you were getting over it and weren't in need of my support, but I think it's quite the opposite," Louise's voice housed concern. She was truly worried about her friend, she was worried he was suppressing his feelings way too much. She was worried that he didn't even realize how bad his mental state was.
"Louise, it's okay, I'm fucking fine!" Dan said angrily.
"I'm just looking out for you, so is Phil."
"Well I'm an adult and I can take care of myself, I don't need to be looked out for," Dan insisted, as if he were child trying to portray his matureness. Louise was unconvinced by him, his voice sounding tired.
"I don't know what else to say, Dan. I'm really considering talking to Phil about how you've been acting, he might have some insight to help you."
"I don't need help. Don't talk to Phil, okay? I've got to go, talk to you later," he said aggressively, ending the call and flopping back onto the sofa, groaning.

You don't need help, you're just fine. This is normal, right?

Most people's anxiety aren't as loud as your's Dan. You need help.

No. It's all good. Suppress feelings.

That's not healthy.

Fuck off.

Dan stuck earbuds into his ears, blocking out his own inward struggle. He closed his eyes and lay back, immersed in his guilty pleasure: MCR. He was okay for a little bit, his mind at peace.

~•~

Phil parked his car a little ways down the street from George's small house. As he walked a man stopped him dead in his tracks by standing in his path.

"Excuse me," Phil said, going to move around him, but the man out a hand out.
"Please stay a second, I need to talk to you," the shorter one spoke, his face shadowed.
"Who are you?" Phil asserted, still trying to move on forward.
"My name is Jeremy, Phil."
"How do you know my name? What the hell?" Phil said, taking a few steps back.
"Shut up for a second," Jeremy growled, taking Phil's shoulders in his hands to stop him from moving. "I used to date your boyfriend."
"Good for you, I don't need to hear your ex gossip," Phil rolled his eyes and twisted out of Jeremy's grip, but he was stopped by his hand again.
"Listen, please. I'm trying to help you, okay?" Jeremy paused, looking away from Phil for just a millisecond. He looked nervous, unsure. "George... only broke up with me a few weeks ago," he said with a sigh, his voice still firm.
"Oh yeah? How am I supposed to believe that. George wouldn't do that," Phil said, having faith in his partner.
"I speak the truth, Phil. I swear by it. He used you to cheat on me, he told me this," Jeremy said, his voice a little weaker.
"And why would he tell you that?"
"Because he gets too guilty. He's a good guy at heart, the only reason he didn't break up with me was because he didn't have the guts to. It was still a fucked up thing to do."
"I don't believe you," Phil scoffed, pushing past Jeremy. He didn't try to stop Phil this time. He just called after him.
"Just ask him, Phil. He'll spill," Jeremy shouted to Phil who halted, his footsteps on the pavement of the sidewalk stopped.
"I will, and you'll see that he'll be honest and it'll show you're a liar!" Phil insisted, not turning back to shout at Jeremy.
"Go ahead," Jeremy urged, "you'll see."

Phil said no more, knocking on George's door, watching as Jeremy sunk back into the shadows.

And so it begins. The last 10 chapters. What I like to call the hell chapters. I think you know what happens next due to predicable cliche... or do you?