Compromises - A Johnlock Fanfiction

Chapter 11 - Mirroring His Happiness

Chapter 11: Mirroring His Happiness

(A/N: I squealled like the little fangirl that I am when I reread this. SO MUCH JOHNLOCK. They have THE conversation.)

“So you really aren't going to tell me what Milla's last words were?” I shook his head, having shaken my head in reply every question John shot at me as I paced around the living room. “She must have said something significant to have you so-”

“So..what, John?” I interrupted,

“Agitated.” I narrowed my eyes at John, pausing my pacing to stare at John. John took the opportunity as this was the first time he had my full attention since last night. “When you know something and you think it's clever, which this clearly is because I know you haven't been able to stop thinking about it, you usually don't keep it a secret so it's something important and I have a right to know. It's not your place to withhold information and maybe, even, it might help the police investigation into Milla's motives.”

“You're right.” I said simply, pausing for a moment and surprising John. “I do know something about Milla's motives and that by telling you this its only going to make you want to know even more but I can also guarantee that you are better off not knowing.” John growled quietly, not liking the secrecy. “Consider what you do know and...deduce.” I motioned with my hands in the air as if the answer was there somewhere.

“I know that I'm meant to be doubting something, the something has to do with you and I, and its something fans of ours want.” I watched in fascination as John concentrated on his thoughts. I leaned forward, wondering if John would get it today or not. A flash of realisation passed through John's eyes, the eyes which told one everything they needed to know. But ever the noble man when he came back to reality he acted as if he had no idea what was going on, even going as far as to change the subject. I knew John, he wouldn't just drop a subject like that unless he didn't like where it was going. I felt strange, almost sad, at the thought of this.

John kept drifting in and out of sleep as he and Sherlock watched TV that night. I kept my eyes shut between moments of sleep though and this led to Sherlock switching off the television, as he never enjoyed what they watched. The flat fell into silence once the sound from the TV cut out. I focussed on Sherlock's breathing, counting them sometimes like someone else might count sheep.

“I know you know, John.” Sherlock whispered. “And if you weren't so honourable you might talk to me about it.” When I opened my eyes I could see Sherlock leaning forward in his armchair with his head in his hands, he wasn't looking at me so I leaned forward, hoping that he wouldn't notice or look up. He didn't talk again but after a while he suddenly lifted his head out of his hands. He jumped when he saw how close I was.

“Did I scare you?” Sherlock only narrowed his eyes at me though. “Yeah I heard and yeah I know what Milla's intentions were.” Sherlock looked down again, his eyelashes fanning out over his high cheekbones. It was a face that had made many people weak at the knees, even Irene Adler but John never thought he would be one of them. He could feel it now though, the doubt. Was he gay? How many times had he denied it? “But why would she give her life for us?” Sherlock smiled now, I smiled back. I was unable to resist mirroring his happiness.

“It would seem that we have a lot of dedicated fans.” I laughed at this, glad that his ability to break the tension hadn't changed. Hopefully our friendship wouldn't change either. “John.” I looked up when he said my name to see he was looking at me again.

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about this?” it was rare for Sherlock to ask me how I felt so I wanted to answer him but for once I had no idea what to say. How did you explain such complicated emotions to someone who didn't understand feelings?

“I wouldn't know where to start in explaining how I feel.” I decided that hounesty was the best policy. Sherlock smirked.

“I don't know how this works,” Sherlock motioned to his heart “But I do know that it beats for you.” I laughed, it wasn't how I wanted to react but then my eyes started misting up slightly.

“I think that that was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.” I grinned at Sherlock who grinned back.

“I hope this doesn't change anything, you already know that you're the only person I...err, bother with.” I patted him on the leg.

“Don't strain yourself, mate, I get it.”

“Good. I didn't know how much more I would have to say to tell you...well, you know.” I nodded.

“Tea?” He nodded, looking quite glad that I had changed the subject.