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Simultanagnosia
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the inability of an individual to perceive more than a single object at a time.
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Dan stared blankly at his ceiling.
Thoughts buzzing in and out of his head like the air in his lungs.
His eyes fluttered closed and everything faded away.
Dan didn't sleep, though.
It was impossible and unnecessary.
Laying in a trance for hours, wasting life.
But that's what Dan was already doing.
Disgusting
Dan remembered his mothers voice.
The screaming.
He turned on his bed, facing the window he tried to climb out of when he was younger.
When he cared about himself.
The only thing Dan seemed to care about now was sleep.
The one thing he needed most but wanted least.
Dan stayed in this position for hours.
Thinking.
That's all he ever did.
Usually about what he's done wrong in life. Which that was a lot. He used to tell his parents everything. But Dan hasn't had someone to talk to in months.
Probably years now.
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When the glare of the sun became too bright, Dan forced himself to sit up in his bedsheets.
His normally dark room was now lit up by the pool of sunlight at the base of the window. It made the whole room feel warm.
Dan rubbed the tiredness off of his cinnamon eyes and yawned.
He staggered down his empty hallway, gliding his hand against the wall, feeling the indents of the texturing. He could feel the dust where the pictures of his family used to hang.
The house Dan lived in used to belong to his parents. After they abandoned him, he's been taking care of it.
Dan looked around. The walls were chipping, the front window of the house was cracked and the lights didn't work.
Broken
Dan sighs.
Maybe he'll fix it one day, but not today. Dan walks into the bathroom and his eyes close fast as he sees his reflection.
Disgusting
His dark oak hair was tangled and throwing curls in every direction. Under his cinnamon-chocolate eyes were dark bags. His normally blooming cheeks were cold and pale.
His arms were bruised, tiny purple-red marks dotted his skin.
"You did this" was carved into his shoulder.
Dan started shaking.
He started thinking about his parents and his brother and the friends he used to have.
Suddenly he was thirteen again
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"Is it safe?" Dan's little brother said, looking at the precarious plank of wood.
"Don't be scared, Adrian." Dan reached out his hand, focusing on his brother and the plank.
And his own feet.
"I don't wanna, Dan.." Adrian looked terrified.
Dan slowly walked towards Adrian and the board shakes under his feet.
"Run!" Dan screams as the board falls from in between the two buildings and Dan comes crashing down four stories.
Or he thought he was falling..
(AN: so hi. This was gross and poorly written I know. I'll update tomorrow and hopefully it'll be longer :))
YOU ARE READING
'temporary tattoos' - phan
Fanfiction⇿ you're true and pure; we're all diseased ⇿ [in which dan is unaware of the beautiful and phil teaches him to see] Fem!Dan TW: anxiety attacks, depression, existential questioning, (some smut wHoops), self harm/abuse.
