Chester POV
I looked over at Mike who was still fast asleep. I checked my phone, it was around four in the morning. I hardly slept at all tonight. Everytime I'd fall asleep I'd have a using dream. I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head. I'm a total fuck-up.
I went back into the bedroom and grabbed the small bag of coke. Looking at it intensified my craving for the drug. I could easily slip into the bathroom and do it. Mike would never find out. It'd be so easy to get away with. If I could just have one hit.
I pulled myself back into reality and put away the coke. I wanted Mike's help, but then he'd know I went to a bar. I was stuck again.
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Mike opened the door for me as we walked into the studio. I sat on a chair and started tapping my fingers on the table. I couldn't help, but feel like everyone was staring at me. As if all of them knew where I'd been last night and everything that happened. I scratched my neck then went back to tapping my fingers on the desk. They were looking at me. They had to be. I knew they were. Did they know about last night? How could they have found out? Did Mike follow me?
"Chester, you okay?" Mike rubbed my arm. He's onto me.
"Fine."
"You look pale." He put the back of his hand against my forehead.
"What else is new?" I joked. Mike chuckled lightly.
"You look sick, babe. You sure you're fine?"
"I'm good, Mike."
"Shut up, before you jinx things and make him sick!" Dave yelled.
"Yeah, Mikey. Don't make me sick so I have to stay home and get cuddled by you all day." I kissed Mike.
My smile faded as Rob walked in. He smiled at me and I gave him a small smile back. I needed to talk to him, but I was scared. I knew he'd yell at me. It's not like I went out and bought it. It was forced into my pocket.
"You're in here again?" Rob smiled as I walked into his area.
"Yeah."
"What'd Mike do now?"
"Mike hasn't done anything, we've been getting along for now." I said and Rob's smile disappeared.
"What did you do," I pulled out the small bag making sure only Rob could see it. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Rob snatched it quickly.
"I didn't go out and buy it, okay? It was like forced on to me."
"Forced onto you? Let me guess, you were in the good parts of town and someone randomly put a gun to your head and forced you to take it."
"I went to a bar and had a few drinks when an old friend tried getting me to do a line with him. When I was getting ready to leave he slipped it into my pocket."
"So you were out drinking. Aren't you the same person who said they would change? Said they weren't an alcoholic?"
"I knew I shouldn't have come to you." I scoffed.
"Did you expect me to feel bad for you? You poor innocent kid. Wake up, Chester. You're a fucking adult. Learn to take some responsibility. This would've never happened if you did the right thing."
"I'm trying to do the right thing by getting rid of the coke before I relapse."
"Gold star for you, Chester."
"Get fucked." I walked out.
Mike POV
I looked up from my notebook to watch Chester storm out, slamming the door in the process. He hasn't been this mad in awhile. I got up to go talk to him when Rob came out looking angry too.
"You look pissed." I chuckled.
"I'll be fine."
"What's up with Chester? He just stormed out of here."
"He's in a mood."
''Do you think he needs space or should I go talk to him?"
"You're his boyfriend, you should know." Rob got short with me, taking me by surprise.
"Pretty sure you broke the door frame." I joked. Chester glared at me. "Not in a joking mood?"
"Obviously."
"What's wrong?"
"I. It's nothing."
"If it's bothering you that much it's clearly not nothing."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"So you can take it out on me later? I know how this works, Chester. You get angry, keep it to yourself then lash out at everyone else."
"You don't want to know."
"Then why am I out here."
"Fine. Nobody understands how fucking hard I try. Every fucking day I try to be a better person, but no one sees that. All everyone sees is how I fucked up again."
"What are you talking about?" I said feeling uneasy. Chester took a few breathes as I saw tears forming in his eyes.
"I relapsed last night. I went out to a bar and had a few drinks."
I didn't know what to say. How was I suppose to react to that? What was I suppose to tell him? Do I let him know I'm angry or confused or dissapointed? Should I even trust him anymore?
"Go ahead and yell at me. I know you want to. I deserve it."
"I'm not gonna yell at you."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I don't want to disappoint you. I'm still trying to stay sober, I just slipped up."
"I know."
"Is that all you're gonna say? You know?"
"What do you want me to say? I don't know what to do or say. I tried things my way and all that did was break us up."
"Just say something other than I know."
I didn't say anything. I held Chester tight. I could keep him safe when I was holding him. I kissed the top of his head as I wondered what I should do. At least I could take solace I'm the fact he told me about. At least he wasn't keeping secrets anymore.
😈😈😈
I'm back. Tell me what thought.
