Step Through to Me

Fairy Godmothers and shiny things

I remember when I first realized what depression was, that what was wrong with me was fixable. It was a mixture of relief and being so disgusted with myself because I now knew that there was something wrong with my brain. I hated myself and everyone else, just for being happy, even though I knew it was illogical. Which is why I know the look on Tyler's face so well. A mixture of relief at Micheal being gone and disgust at... what? The fact that he found me and Micheal together? What Micheal said? Or something else? I don't know. All I know right now is that I'm thoroughly confused. What exactly do they want from me? Clearly more than a day, by the way they were talking, but what? A relationship, neither of these boys know me. A one night stand? Doubtful. Though without the conversation I just heard I might've believed exactly that. This was supposed to be a Saturday. One Saturday. He bought me. It takes him waving his hands in front of my face to snap me out of it. I quickly narrow my eyes at him. He looks sheepish. "You don't have to see me again after today, if you don't want to, but I'd like you to." My jaw drops and I barely gasp out, "I don't-" He quickly interrupts me, "No, don't make a decision now, the day isn't over yet," a smile takes over his face, "let me show you something." Tyler holds his hand out to me. I hesitate but ultimately place my hand in his. His smile brightens and he starts toward the door before looking back at me, Shhhhh.... and he starts running. Here we go again.
We actually make it to his room this time and it's... exactly what I expect. There's nothing. No pictures, band posters, there's no personality. It's squeaky clean, literally. The stark difference of it from Micheal's room shocks me and I realize that Micheal was right. Me and Tyler are nothing alike.
He leads me to the bathroom, which would be weird if it was anyone else but I don't expect Tyler to try anything. He's just too.... overwhelmingly perfect to do something like that. Or have passion like that. I can't decide if I respect him or if I abhor his coldness and indifference, it
Makes for an interesting internal battle if nothing else. Hung up by the shower curtain is a bag like the ones that come from Davids Bridal or dress shops when you buy I prom dress. It looks expensive and it makes me choke a little. He smiles at me brightly and pulls down the zipper.
Luckily I had already prepared my smile because... I hate the dress. Not only is it not me at all, it really shouldn't be anyone. The dress is mid-thigh, which is about the only thing is has going for it. It's bubblegum pink with a zipper down the front and rhinestones clustered around the zipper and getting more spaced out around the sides. It's absolutely atrocious, but I smile like it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's not my day, after all, it's Tyler's. My smile almost breaks when he pulls out bubblegum pink pumps out of the bottom of the bag, he looks so proud of himself that I haven't the heart to tell him he clearly chose wrong. No, not the wrong dress, the wrong girl. It's clear to me now, from the conversation in the library and the dress, he wants me to go to the gala with sparkling daisies and crystal chandeliers and I couldn't imagine anyone that would belong there less than me. Cassie would've loved this. Lydia would've loved this. He should've chose them. But I smile graciously and I take the dress that he probably spent hours choosing for himself, or at least sending someone to. I usher him out and changed into it, looking in the mirror. I hate everything about who I am right now, what I see in the mirror, and I quickly look away. I walk out only to see that Tyler has disappeared.
Lovely.
What I do see is another pair of shoes on the bed. They were still high heeled but black, and actually cute. They laced up the front with black see through lace on the sides. I couldn't imagine Tyler picking these out, I actually liked them. Picking up the card, I realized that it was because Tyler didn't pick them out, Micheal did.
   Micah, if you're going to pretend to like that God-awful dress then I thought you should at least wear some shoes that you like. Good luck.
                           Micheal
Despite my absolute confusion over the two boys, my feelings on the shoes are very very clear. These bubblegum pink atrocities have to go. Right as I get the black heels on, Tyler walks in. His eyes glaze over when he sees the shoes but he doesn't address it. I'm so thankful. Instead, he smiles and takes my hand. "You're a vision." I smile my thanks and he pulls me toward the door. A good friend of mine wanted to personally complete your look. He opens the door and a very bubbly personality with a big grin greets me. I notice him slightly flinch when he sees the dress, but Tyler doesn't see, and for that I'm thankful. Although, his eyes widen in appreciation at my shoes, and I flush a deep shade of red. I hold my hand out to him, "I'm Micah," I start to say, but he pulls me into a big hug. "You silly, crazy, wonderful girl I know exactly who you are!!" His grin widens, "and I," he waved his hand dramatically at this, "as your fairy godmother." A sly grin takes over his features and I immediately love him. "But you can call me Corey." At this I can't help but grin back.