22 ~ Sour as a Tamarind

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A/N: for some reason, this chapter was extremely hard to write, but I hope you like it! And dedicated to this fabulous girl who made the cover on the side :D

Chapter 22: Sour as a Tamarind

As we got closer and closer to our destination, I was trying to think of what drug I must've taken that would've made me be stupid enough to agree to this.

I didn't want to be anywhere near those people. There was a reason I left, and even though it wasn't of my own free will at the beginning, it made me happy to leave. But I was happy without them.

Fuck. I wasn't even sure if I knew what 'happy' was anymore.

A small squeak had me glancing to my left, where a sleeping Lottie sat. I frowned. She may act like she did, but did she really know how to be happy?

In her sleep, her nose scrunched up and her forehead wrinkled worriedly. A gasping noise escaped her mouth. I wondered what was the matter. Was it her mother? Her father?

"Lottie," I said to myself. I liked saying her name. It reminded me of things I used to forget. It reminded me of determination and stubbornness and friendliness. It reminded me to be kind.

She moaned in her sleep, almost like she was in pain, and, as if by second nature, I reached out and grasped her hand in mine. It was small and soft and warm, and when we made contact, she let out a tiny sigh and relaxed.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm sorry, Lottie."

My phone rang at that moment, and I scowled. I wanted to just be alone for a while. I wanted to just soak in Lottie's company. But fuck if I could.

I connected my phone to my car and pressed 'accept call.' "Ben," came Archer's voice, all staticky through the speakers.

I sighed. "What's up, kiddo?"

"We're almost there. Are you ready?"

No. I wasn't. "Yeah. Don't worry about me, buddy. I'm fine."

I heard Archer let out a relieved sigh. "Okay."

I knew the kid was still worried I would leave him again. "Hey, don't worry, Archer," I said. "I'm still going. Besides, Lottie would get really upset if I turned back."

"Lottie?" he asked, confused. "Oh, your Lottie. The Lottie who is your Lottie and only your Lottie, but is everyone else's Charlie."

"Oh shut it," I said quietly. Lottie stirred next to me, but I didn't want to her to be woken up.

"Chill oooout, Ben. I had no idea that she already had you at her beck and call. And you're not even shagging, are you?"

"Jesus Christ, kid, keep talking and I'll feed you worms, got it?"

"Yeah, but Lottie might get upset, won't she?"

I huffed in frustration and ended the call. Lottie wasn't controlling me. I glanced at her and her slightly heaving chest. She was one of the only people who didn't try and change me.

I glared at the roads that were taking me back to the place I never wanted to go back to. As I drove, the farmland that enclosed the roads was soon replaced by buildings. It occurred to me that Lottie should be briefed before meeting my parents. I didn't want her to get hurt by their callousness. I wanted to make sure she understood that what they said didn't matter.

I removed my hand from her tight grip and shook her shoulder. "Lottie," I said loudly. "Lottie, wake up."

A slow groan escaped her mouth and she jolted up, rubbing the sleep from her bleary eyes. "Wha-" she said, her voice thick and fatigued. "Benny?" She glanced around quickly, and upon seeing me beside her, she relaxed.

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