Afraid

Chapter 5

Sherlock feels like everyone is watching him.

He stands in the very back during the reception, out of the way, out of hearing distance.

When he sees John he feels like he's going to be sick.

John is smiling. He's happy, positively glowing.

Sherlock feels like he should leave.

But then John sees him. And excuses himself. And walks towards him.

Sherlock quickly leaves the hall and tries to make his escape, but then he hears "Sherlock!" and he's stopping and looking at John.

And John's watching him.

"Wh- what are you doing here?" He asks.

"Your married. It's your 'big day'. We were friends once. Thought I might as well come."

"Yeah, but Sherlock-"

"Does she know about me?" Sherlock cuts him off, staring him straight in the eye.

What he meant to say was "I should leave," but some questions demand answers.

John looks at him for a moment. "No."

Sherlock nods his head and looks away. "Right," he says. "I, ha, don't even know what I'm doing here, I should probably be leaving, right about now, no?" He turns around and beings to shuffle toward the door, but John stops him with a hand on his arm.

"Sherlock, look, I know what happened between me and you was rough, but-"

The detective chuckles. It's dry and humorless. "No, don't you see what happened here? I had it all figured out. I hated your guts. I'd say that your the worse thing that's ever happened to me. I just wanted a little more time." He shakes his head. "I just wanted a little more time."

"Sherlock-"

"No, it's fine, it's all fine. Goodbye John and I hope you have a fantastic life. You certainly deserve it."

John is looking at the floor. "I'm sorry."

Sherlock nods. He backs away. He leaves. He doesn't look back to see Mrs. Watson- John's wife touching him and soothing him and asking what's wrong.

Sherlock Holmes does not miss John Watson.

And it most certainly is not because John Watson has found someone better than Sherlock Holmes.