Arthur: So, Francis, I am hoping that you can explain this large bill from the flower shop down the street.
Francis: Well, I was helping little Alfred express his feelings for Kiku.
Arthur: Oh dear Lord.
Kiku: *opens his front door and is drowned by a wave of roses.*
--
Kiku: Herc, I think we need to talk about this cat obsession of yours.
Hercules: Why?
Kiku: It's gotten out of hand.
Hercules: Really?
Kiku: People recognize our place as "The Cat House".
Hercules: ...
Kiku: The only food in our house is cat food.
Hercules: ...
Kiku: I can't take a step without accidentally stepping on a cat.
Hercules: ...And?
Kiku: HOW IS THIS OKAY??
--
Ludwig: Feli-- I thought that I told you to clean up the kitchen after using it!!! I invited Kiku over! It's going to look atrocious!!
Feliciano: ...
Feliciano: Uh oh
Ludwig: Uh oh??!
Ludwig: ...
Ludwig: HOW MUCH PASTA DID YOU MAKE??!!!?
Kiku: *opens door and is drowned by a wave of pasta*
Kiku: WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN??!!?
--
Francis: Happy Valentine's Day Artie!!
Arthur: Don't call me that. And besides, Valentine's Day is a scam. It's a fake holiday cooked up by the head companies of the world to cash in on our romantic connections to one another.
Francis: I bought you some chocolate.
Arthur: ...
Arthur: *grabs the chocolates and runs away*
--
Gilbert: *unholy screaming*
Elizaveta: What's the matter, Gil?
Gilbert: WE'RE OUT OF BEER
Elizaveta: We can get some more tomorrow. And besides, is beer that important?
Gilbert: DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME
Elizaveta: Oh stop being so overdramatic! So what if you don't have beer? You have me~
Gilbert: ...
Gilbert: *screams louder*
--
Relationship counselor: Okay! It's time to start our session! So, may one of you tell me why we're meeting today?
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...
Kiku: ...
Hercules: ...
Kiku: ...
Kiku: He loves his cats more than me
Hercules: Omfg
--
Gilbert: Roderich. Stop playing the piano for a minute. I need to talk to you about something important.
Roderich: *keeps playing
Gilbert: I decided... How about we put aside this silly fighting? I can't bear to fight you because I... I love you, Roderich.
Roderich: *keeps playing
Gilbert: OH COME ON!! HOW DID THAT NOT WORK??!
Elizaveta: HA!! You owe me five bucks!!
Ludwig: What are you guys doing?
Elizaveta: Trying to get Roderich to stop playing the piano
--
Alfred: I am the fridge, the fridge is me. I am the fridge, the fridge is me. I am the fridge, the fridge is me-
Arthur: Uh, what are you doing?
Alfred: Just listening to this easy meditation video that Emil sent me yesterday.
Arthur: ...
--
Ludwig: Come on brother, don't do this.
Gilbert: No, you need to stop.
Ludwig: Brother, we both can't propose to Feliciano.
Gilbert: We could, and then have him choose. But, just a warning, you're gonna lose.
Ludwig: This isn't a game!
Gilbert: Whatever. I'm proposing.
Gilbert/Ludwig: *walk into the kitchen, get down on one knee, and pull out rings* Will you marry me, Feliciano?
Feliciano: ...
Feliciano: *takes both rings, puts one on a spaghetti noodle, pauses, then puts the other one on his ring finger*
Feliciano: They said yes!
Gilbert/Ludwig: ...
--
Lukas: Mathias, this news may come as a shock to you, but, I can explain-
Matthias: ?
Lukas: ... I'm pregnant.
Matthias: Two things, 1, HOW??! 2, Have you been seeing other men??!
Lukas: ...
Lukas: *gives birth to butter
Matthias: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NORGE??!!!?
Lukas: I CAN EXPLAIN!!!
A.N.
Idk what I just wrote, but I bet it was horrid! Please request!
YOU ARE READING
Hetalia One Shots!
FanfictionCover art is not mine! None of the characters in this book belong to me! All rights go to the creators and owners. [COMPLETED]
