Hearts Not Parts

The Kiss

Hi I'm Alex, my friends call me Al, and my mom calls me X, but my best friend calls me Hamilton as in Alexander Hamilton. so this the story of me, about what i did, about how i did it, and what i did after it.

so lets  tell you a little about me, I'm 17 years old, my father left me and my mother after i turned 3, i don't know him, i don't know where he is, and all that jazz i just don't. my mother is an alcoholic and drug abuser and i kinda just live in an apartment down on the bad side of Dallas. While my friends live on the better side. We go to school together
Kai is like my sister, she's my getaway from the awful teachers and from my mother. She's everything to me.
Now here's my problem I just got my first kiss. Last week at kia's house with all my friends over. It was a sleepover! You know how those things get crazy. We were play truth or dare. Just a basic back and forth thing. And if you didn't do the dares or answer the truths you'd have to take off a peice of clothing.
I didn't do a lot that night. I mean my mom was drunk and hour before and was throwing bottles calling me names hitting me yeah so at the end of the night I was pretty much a naked bab that came out my mommas womb again. At least I wasn't the only person in that boat. Kia didn't do the dares either I don't know why though.

*a week earlier*

"Ashe, I dare you to eat all the rest of the licorice at the snack table" Lilly had pointed over to the shelf of food that we all had brought.

Ashe gave a smile and  smugly walked over to the table, no one but her really liked them. she chowed down on the licorice on her way back to the circle of blankets. i watched the game go on and then it came down to me. everyone turned to me.

"ok now you, Alex. no more truths you have a dare now" Ashe grinned as she looked at the ceiling as if she was thinking on a dare, "hm...oh okay! serious question guys!" the room got really quiet as we all looked at her 

"what type of question is it?" Kai asked

"the kissy kind. Alex have you ever kissed someone?" her question almost pierced the very soul i harvest inside.

i was super embarrassed cause i never have had a kiss. all the boys at our school were dicks and only went after a cute popular girls with big boobs. even though i had a crush on a guy i know he wouldn't look at me. he was just too cool for me.

i bet my face told my secret and then some. cause they all looked at each other and spoked in hushed whispers that weren't so quiet, i could make out a few words but others were inaudible with them all talking at the same time.

"she needs some smooching" im guessing was Ashe

"well i wish i could help theres no boys around." Lilly said

"one of us could kiss her. think about it would you rather have a boy who'll leave you in a second kiss you or you best friends?"

silence

"yeah your right id rather have my bestie be my first kiss then a stupid boy"

"ok so who's gonna kiss her?" kai asked 

they just looked at her before saying something more hush then everything else Kai jumped up "no sir. im not"

"kia she trusts you more than any of us, its just a simple peck on the mouth." Lilly smiled sleepishly. 

"she's my best friend! what if my dad comes down here?"

"you dad has to be at work at 5  hes not awake."

after a long moment Kia agreed to the kiss. but this wasn't gonna be a normal kiss. Lilly and Ashe ushered us forcefully into a closet and waited outside putting something heavy in front of the door. Kia's closet didn't have a light source in there so all i could really make out were her eyes the light coming from the crack under the door. i could almost hear my heart beating in my throat as she stared at me and i stared back i was kinda scared what if i didn't kiss okay? what if do something stupid?

i shut my eyes tightly as my thoughts and worries over came me like a tsunami. i could feel my face flush and my hands clenched and sweaty. soft plump lips crashed into mine on a the sudden action my mind flushed down all my worries and all my emotions came like a dam bursting and washing over with the same power. when she pulled way my lips felt tingly and lonely i opened my eyes and it felt like the world had gotten brighter...actually it did the door was wide open and Ashe and Lilly stood there smiles planted on there face. i blushed as we got up and went back to the blanket circle we were pelted with questions about the kiss but we gave simple answers.

*end flash back*

since then there has been a weird thing going on between us. and weird thing going on with me. i think i like girls I'm not too sure though cause i still like guys. i ended up asking google, as everyone does, the next day i went home and it showed up as bisexual. but then i kept thinking what about transgenders? i mean i like all kinds of people. I'm this far in why not dive it further. i looked up what that meant and it said Pansexual. i guess I'm that but i better test it out before i go all in.

the night i was home i tossed and turned thinking of Kia and The Kiss. i wondered if she had felt what i felt. a i wondered if she thought about it too. i just wanted to get her opinion of what happened without sounding weird. 

the up coming weeks are gonna be weird but a good weird

**so ok this is kinda just to see if people like it if people do i urge you to leave a comment so i know that you like it and so i know i can keep writing cause if there aren't any comments ill stop production . so please comment !! see ya soon ill be watching!!**