Finding Me

When it all started

        After Ciara received her journal she wrote in it everyday, but one day as she was writing she heard her step-father abusing her mother. She threw her book under the bed and ran to her mother's side. She tried to stop him from hitting her mom but then he turned around and smacked her. Ciara went flying across the room and hit the dresser and began to cry.       
When her stepfather noticed this he told her to go to her room. As she did as she was told she slammed the door screaming "I HATE YOU MICHAEL." He quickly ran up the stair and told her to apologize for what she said or she would regret it. Ciara just sat there crying and said nothing. Michael simply smiled and said "I'll make sure that you love me, just watch."
           Later that week when Michael got drunk again he came in the house cursing and complaining about how people need to show him more respect. He went upstairs to Ciara's room and asked her if she loved him now. Ciara didn't answer not because she was being disobedient but because she was sleep and had headphones in her ears. Michael got mad at the fact that she didn't reply and turned her over and ripped her nightgown. Ciara started screaming and crying as she screamed  "Help! Help! Ma he's touching me!" as her mom came and bust in the room he turned around and said "shut the hell up and sit in the corner, until I'm finished." As she sat there crying watching her daughter get raped she noticed that Michael actually was enjoying it and started to get jealous. When he left Ciara sat in her room crying and asking herself what did she do to deserve that and why didn't her mother help her.
            That next morning after Ciara got in the shower she went downstairs and saw her mother. She said " good morning ma, how are you feeling today?" Her mother turned around and looked at her daughter with disgust and said"I'm fine. Go to school and don't tell anyone about what happened." Ciara did as she was told and finished getting ready for school then left.
          When Ciara got home that day she went in her room and did her homework. As she was doing her homework she heard someone coming in the house but thought that it was her mother so she didn't say anything. She heard a knock on the door and then saw her step-father walking in her room. He said "Hey sweetie, how was your day? Did you have fun at school?" Ciara said nothing at first  then took a deep breath and replied "school was fine and if you are in here to see if I told anyone what you did I didn't mom told me don't say anything." Michael stood there in shock and said " even if you were to say something who would honestly believe you? Who is going to believe a girl that randomly attacks people claiming they touch her butt." Ciara started to cry and said "he did touch me and you know that you know that's the only reason why I even have a counselor Michael." Michael just stood there and ask her "Do you love me now?" as he started to loosen his belt buckle. Ciara started to scream and shout but remembered she was the only one in the house besides him so there was no point of screaming.
            Ciara never told anyone what happened in her house. Eventually she started to feel like it was her fault for the things that were happening to her. The more Michael would touch her the more her mother started to abuse her and call her names. One morning before Ciara left to go to school her mother saw her wearing a shirt showing her stomach. Ciara's mom called her name and said "what are you trying to do? Are you out here having sex with every little boy you can you slut. You probably do like it when you and Michael have sex, you're such a hoe." Ciara didn't understand why her mother was treating her so poorly. So she ran upstairs to her room and cried.
          That night when Michael tried to rape her her mother yelled " you love her more than me don't you!" before he did anything he turned around and said "hell yeah I do look at her then look at you." Ciara's mother ran out of the room crying. As she heard her daughter yelling she ran into the kitchen she grabbed the first pan she saw and hit Michael with it. When he got up he punched her in the eye, hit her head against the wall, and then threw her down the stairs. When Michael realized what he did he turned to Ciara and  said "tell anyone what just happened and I promise Ill kill you." Then he turned away and took her mother to the hospital.