Discolored

12: I Know You Want to Kill Me, But Remember There Would Be No More Chapters

NPOV

A few hours ago

Despite how long it took me to accept it, I think I knew when I first came in that this would have to happen. I knew that for the binds keeping Percy stuck between the worlds to be broken, I'd have to first let go of my hold on Camp Half-Blood and let the darkness take me—after all, in the shadow realm, the only way is forward. Holding onto Camp Half-Blood means trying to reserve it as an option to go backward. The shadows will never allow me to move if I can't obey the rules of this dimension.

So my only choice is to sever my grip on Camp Half-Blood—then when it starts to get me, if I'm lucky, I can quickly grab Percy and somehow find a way out.

The problem is, I know that the only reason Percy is still alive is that he is still connected to the mortal world. If I take him away from that and can't find a way out, he will die, and I will have failed.

Another problem is that to be honest, I am terrified of getting stuck here forever. I'm the only one that can control the shadows, so no one will be able to help me... It will be just like the bronze jar so long ago, but this time, I wouldn't have any gifts like the seeds to help me. I would be on my own.

I say a quick prayer to my dad in the hopes that if it doesn't work out, he can help me. But I know he won't be able to, just like he hadn't been allowed to save Bianca. Or my mother. I take a deep breath and let my focus shatter. Almost immediately the swirls of the shadows start to try to entangle me and trap me here forever—shadows wrap around my throat and try to strangle me. I frantically look for Percy. As soon as I had let go, he was pulled completely in, as planned, and is now floating in the darkness away from me.

I can only see in monochrome—that's probably because I severed the connection to reality. As far as life on earth is concerned, I no longer exist. The shadows believe I belong with them, in the underworld or in this liminal space.

I fight my way towards him. The darkness tries to strangle me, or pull me back, and small amounts of the shadows seep into my mouth. Tiny doses of poison. Not enough to kill me, but I have to make it closer to Percy, or we'll both consume too much of the shadows to ever get out of here.

When I'm close enough, I grab his wrist.

I'll get you out of here Percy—it's what I came to do.

I try to focus on getting to Camp Half-Blood again, but it is suddenly much harder to remember what reality looks like. Where am I even trying to go? I vaguely remember that people are waiting on my return, but the details are hazy and dark. Shadows pry open my jaw, and more shadows pour down my throat.

Dread is concrete in my stomach as I realize I am not going to make it out of here.

But that doesn't mean Percy can't.

I leaned in and whispered, ignoring the shadows that seep down my throat near-constantly now. "Percy, focus on where you want to go. The shadows will take you there—you can only move forward."

The poison tastes thick, like tar. Any more than I've already consumed, and I won't be able to breathe.

To my surprise, Percy groans, "Nico, no."

"I'm too far gone, Percy," I whisper. "I've swallowed too much—" As I say it, my tongue is coated with the bitter darkness again, and I shudder at the taste. "I don't—I don't remember what reality is anymore. I'll never make it out. If you try to wait for me to remember, you're going to start to forget, too."

His body shivers, and a sob shakes him, but he caves in. He wants to live, and we both know it. There is no possible way for me to get out, but he has a chance. "I'll tell them how brave you were," he whispers.