✔️The Ability To Love [DaeJae]

part 1

His first boyfriend suddenly broke up after three months.

His second boyfriend would have never broken up, but treated him like shit.

After he finally managed to escape this relationship, he started feeling more and more numb day by day.

It felt like he forgot how love feels.

He thought that nobody would ever truly love him. Well, maybe his now ex kind of did love him, but that guy never cared about what he wanted. When he said no, his ex could not accept it. He started making him feel bad until he finally agreed to everything.

A few months after breaking up with that guy, he realized how he started having a crush on a friend of his. His friend gave him the feeling that he liked him back, even though, Youngjae didn't tell him about his feelings. They were planning to meet soon, his friend was even asking him if he could kiss him then and this made him so happy. Weeks later, they still didn't meet, his friend suddenly had a picture of himself kissing another guy and it turned out he had a boyfriend now.

After crying more than he ever cried before, Youngjae got scared. Scared of falling in love ever again.

He didn't want anything like this to happen again.

Of course, he wanted a boyfriend. He wanted someone who was there for him, who cared about him and his feelings, someone to cuddle, someone to kiss, someone who not just thought about sex the whole time. But he didn't believe anymore, that this person really existed for him.

"You'll see, the right one will come when the time is right." His friend always said, but Youngjae just shook his head to this. He didn't even remember how it felt to love someone. He tried to imagine it, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not imagine having any special kind of feelings towards anybody.

His friend kept telling him not to give up, not to lose hope, but he just couldn't help it. It was hard to get any positive feelings at all, he didn't really feel happy anymore. Just lonely.

"Hey Jae, how are you?" he was greeted by Junhong, when he arrived at their usual place in the park.

"I'm okay." he just answered like always and sat down next to the younger. "Where's Jongup?"

"Oh, he said he's bringing his new roommate I guess that's why he takes longer."

"He's bringing someone?" Youngjae got a bit scared. He hated being around people he didn't know. He didn't like new people interrupting the time with his friends.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure he's nice."

Youngjae just nodded and started playing with the grass in front of him while getting lost in his own thoughts. Until he noticed someone sitting down next to him a few minutes later.

"Sorry that we're late. That's my new roommate." Jongup said and Youngjae looked at the guy next to him, who gave him a smile.

"Hi, I'm Daehyun. Nice to meet you."

"Hey." Youngjae just said, not looking in the olders eyes.

"What's your name?" Daehyun asked, still looking at him, smiling.

"Youngjae."

"He doesn't talk much to strangers." Jongup then said in an apologizing tone.

"Ah I understand. Well, it's nothing bad to be shy."

"He'll probably open up a bit when he gets to know you better. I'm Junhong by the way." the youngest of them said.

Then they started talking. Youngjae just sat there, listening to them, not saying a word the whole time. He felt uncomfortable, because of Daehyun next to him. He somehow didn't want to be near him.