DO I LIKE YOU?

Graduation

As highschool comes to an end, it makes me wonder ;

Have I made the right choices?
Have I made the right friends?
Was I nice to everybody?
Did I make my parents proud?
Was I satisfied?
Am I actually going to use what I've learnt in school in the real world?

Chances are, I hadn't fulfilled most questions completely.

I can't say for sure that I made the right choices but if I hadnt made those decisions, I wouldn't be who I am now. Yes and no, I've had friends who brought joy into my life but also friends who were destructive. Perhaps not, but for the most part I tried to be. However, that same kindness itself got taken advantaged of. There were times where I did make them proud of me and it is a magnificent feeling but there were also some aspects where I was a great disappointment to them although they don't voice it out. A big maybe, I challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone throughout my highschool life. Nonetheless, I feel that I still could've participated more.

Most of what was taught in class is probably not going to retain in my brain that long. Math is a subject that I am pretty sure is of no use to my daily life other than its basics. Learning doesn't just happen in classrooms. Learning goes beyond those walls. I hope values have been inculcated into your system as well. However it is from school, that I've learnt to tolerate people. How to cope with all the subjects and the stress. Having breakdowns every now and then but wasssssuhhhhh I'm still here.

The thought of graduating scares me but I am also so excited. I know it is going to be bittersweet as I bid farewell to another chapter of my life. Leaving behind a bunch of people but I will bring forward everything that shaped me. For better or for worse.

The unpredictability of what the future holds or where we are all heading next is indeed terrifying. Some of us are still unsure of what we want to pursue next. You're going to be given options. You need to choose. You need to make decisions. And god, I am a terrible decision-maker. We are all horrified. For sure.

Leaving highschool also means a fresh start. You're the "new kid" all over again. A freshman. Hopefully not an annoying one. You have to introduce to yourself to strangers again. That makes me anxious. I have to make new friends. People who will take the same career path as I will.

"F*ck me gently with a chainsaw" - Heather Chandler (Heathers)

HAHHDHAHZHSB

As we approach the end, the more I feel ambivalent. The last class that we're going to have is in a week. After that, we'll have our exams. And then, well we wait for our results. Our highschool days will be done and gone. We're all probably going our separate ways then. I want to make everyday count now. Especially with the people I care about. The last few days to spend recess with you guys. The bus rides home. Sitting side by side during assembly. Walking past each other's classrooms. I am not going to miss the school. I am going to miss you all. Will you all miss me?

This is an avenoir. "A desire that memories could flow backwards. We take it for granted that life moves forward. But you move as a rower moves, facing backwards : you can see where you've been, but not where you're going. And your boat is steered by a younger version of you. It's hard not to wonder what life would be like facing the other way."

While we write our hopes, dreams and thank you(s) on each other's uniforms, how will that feel like? Would you cry? Would you feel happy?

The moment we leave the school gates for the last time as a student. How will that feel like?
Would you be proud? Would you look back?

Intangible things.

Last but not least, I'd like to congratulate every single one of you for making it this far. I am proud of you and so should you. Wishing you all the best of luck and that wherever life decides to take you, it'll be somewhere you'd want to end up at.

I hope that I've made a good difference in your lives. Keep in touch, alright?

// Class of 17'