Hail Mary

Liam

I do as he says, and my heart starts to hammer. As much as I want this, I'm a little nervous, too. Fucking around on my own is way different than actually letting another guy stick his finger inside of me, and worlds away from having him fuck me. But this is something I want. I have to try it at least once, just to see if I like it. Worst case, I'll hate it and Horan and I will figure something else out. I trust him to take it easy and to give me some time if I need him to slow down or stop. And it's that thought that ultimately sets me at ease as he climbs beside me on the bed and lays on his side. With my hands folded on my chest, I watch him lube up one finger, and then a second one. My brow arches, and he chuckles. "Just in case." He kisses me again, and I can feel his smile on my lips. "Bend one of your knees a little bit." "Feels like I'm at the doctor," I joke. He smacks my chest lightly. "Asshole. See if I try to make it comfortable for you again." I expect him to start prodding at places I've never had anyone else prod, but instead he starts kissing me again. It's slow and lacking the urgency of our usual kisses, and I realize he's trying to relax me. His other hand runs up and down my body, and he even grasps my cock and gives me a few slow strokes. I relax back into the bed, and once he seems satisfied, I feel his other hand drift downward. He cups my balls and I shudder, then feel him skim along the sensitive skin leading to my hole. He takes it easy with me, pressing in a little bit at a time. At first it feels exactly the way it did when I did it on my own. A little painful, and a lot weird. He whispers soothingly, telling me to relax, and I focus on breathing as he pushes in deeper. With the lube and the fact that I'm not clenching, it isn't too bad, it's just a pressure I'm not used to feeling. He slides in deeper, and it's like his finger is at least three times bigger than I remember it. How I'm going to take his cock, I have no idea. But I know if I let myself worry about this, it's never going to happen. So I try not to think about it, and focus on his lips instead. He still tastes a little like the drinks we had last night, and I remember the high of winning that game. It helps me relax even more, to the point where I can barely feel the pressure. And then, suddenly, I feel something else. A burst of pleasure that explodes within me. "Holy shit," I say, my voice shaky. Niall just grins, apparently not feeling like he needs to explain what just happened. I guess he's going to demonstrate, instead, because I can feel his finger inside of me, stroking something, and it's the most amazing feeling I've ever had. I don't even know how to describe it. It's a deeper pleasure than getting a blowjob or even fucking someone. Maybe it's just because it's more intimate, but I know if he keeps this up, I'm not going to last very long. Already I'm writhing and moaning against him, pressing my ass against his hand, encouraging him to do more. When he slips in the second finger, stretching me a little wider, I shudder. The discomfort is quickly replaced by an intense pleasure as the digit finger joints the first. I devolve into a mess of swears and pleas, until Niall slowly pulls out of me. I groan, immediately feeling the loss, but when I hear him rip open the condom packet, my body seems to realize that it's going to get exactly what it wants. "We'll go slow, okay?" "If you can manage to do whatever you just did again, I don't care how fast you go." He chuckles, and I watch him roll the condom over his cock. He lubes it up, then applies some of the lube to me, as well. His fingers return, and so do my moans, my back pressing into the bed. The next time he removes them, he gets into place between my legs, and I can feel the tip of him pressing against me. I hold my breath on reflex, then remember to let it out. His hand moves up to my chest and he caresses me in slow circles. My heart squeezes as our eyes meet, and I rest my hand against his wrist, holding him to me. Something passes between us in that moment, and I can tell he feels it, too. When he pushes inside of me, he does it so slowly, so carefully at first. I'm grateful for that, because his cock is way bigger than his fingers, and I need time to adjust. Once my body relaxes, though, I have to shift my hips forward a little to get him to move more. I feel him, inch by inch inside of me, and it's fucking incredible. When he starts to move and his dick rubs against that sensitive spot within me, I almost lose it completely. I clutch his arm hard, while my other hand grips the sheets. "Oh, fuck, Niall," I moan as he slowly pushes in and out of me. "Feels good?" "Feels amazing." I run my hand up his arm, feeling the soft hair underneath my fingertips. Gripping his shoulder, my fingers curl against his skin. I pull him toward me and he leans close enough for me to kiss him. It's needy and a little distracted as he continues to move inside of me, and I settle for just having his lips near mine, breathing in his gasps and grunts and groans. "Harder," I beg, and he finally starts moving in earnest. "Need more." "Anything you want, baby," he murmurs against my lips. I've never been a fan of endearments. Especially endearments like that. But coming from Niall as he's fucking me, it sounds like the sexiest thing I've ever heard, and I moan softly as he hits just the right spot. My legs hook around him, my heels against his ass, pulling him to me. He lowers himself above me, and instead of hard, fast strokes, I can feel every inch of him as he moves deep inside of me. My hands clutch at his back, and by the time he works up a rhythm in that position, I know my nails are digging into his skin. Every roll of his hips brings a new burst of pleasure until every sensation melds together into almost painful anticipation. My muscles tighten, and as my moans start to get louder, Niall muffles them with his mouth. Right. We're still in a hotel, surrounded on both sides by guys who think we're straight. Right now, though, I don't care about anything except the way he feels inside of me. As the tension builds, I just let it happen, surrendering completely to Niall. I keep a tight leash on everything else in my life, but here, I know I can trust him. I know he's going to give us both what we want, and then some. I let him take me to the edge, and with one more thrust, he shoves me over it. I come harder than I ever have in my life, and Niall adjusts his position to watch me, his arms moving to hold my thighs in place. "Fuck, Liam. You're gonna make me come." I want that, even if I can't find the words to say it. Even as my mind and body are still reeling, I want to give him the same pleasure he's given me. I don't know if I do it intentionally or just as an after-effect of climax, but my muscles clench around him, and I hear the very start of a moan, loud and low, escape from him before he bites it back. His movements slow, and finally he stills, panting above me. When he pulls out, it feels like losing some part of myself. I already know I'm completely fucked. Not by the fact that I'm so obviously into guys that there's no mistaking it for anything else, but because I'm lying here, after the best sex of my life, thinking about how intimate it felt. How close I felt to Niall when he was inside of me. How much I want him to stay in bed with me and push the day back just a little further. Compared to those feelings, the realization that I'm 100% bi seems really small. Just another new thing I've learned about myself. My dad always used to say you never really find out who you are until you're in your 20' s, and I guess it's true. As I feel my heartrate slow and my breathing gradually return to normal, I wonder what my dad will think about all of this. It was weird seeing him between semesters and not telling him. He and I never talked about a lot of shit beyond football, but this is a major thing. I should be freaking out about the idea of telling him; of telling everyone. Now that this feels... real, it also feels like the right thing to do. But I'm not freaking out. I want people to know. It'll make it easier for me to cut ties with anyone who gives a shit that I happen to like dudes. I can think of a few guys on the team already who are way too fond of their go-to fag jokes to ever really get it. Fuck those guys. I'm bi. I'm fucking my best friend. And I think I might be in love with him. "How you feeling?" He asks from beside me. "Pretty fucking great. You?" He gives me little shrug, though his smile is so big I can tell he's full of shit. "Y'know. Same as any other day, I guess." "Asshole," I say with a laugh. Before he can defend himself, his phone buzzes on the bedside table. He reaches for it and unlocks the screen. "Shit, it's already almost 8. What time are we supposed to be at the airport?" "11." I glance at his screen and see the face of a guy I don't know in his text messages. I can't read what the text says, and I don't want to be the guy who gets all nosy and insecure, but seeing that immediately kills my buzz. Is he still texting other guys from that app? Still looking for hookups? Something burns in my gut, and I realize what it is almost immediately: Jealousy. It's fucking stupid, because Niall and I didn't really talk about being exclusive. We didn't talk about any of this. It just sort of happened. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe this is another hookup for him. Maybe I'm just another hookup. A straight guy he managed to turn. Fuck, I don't want to think that, but now that it's in there, I can't get it out. I need to clear my head before I make a complete ass of myself. Swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, I grab my underwear and pull them on, then dig my sweats out of my traveling bag. "I'm gonna try and get in a quick run before we leave," I say, trying to keep my voice as even as possible. Niall is messing with his phone, and at first he doesn't respond. I'm already lacing up by sneakers by the time he answers. "Shit, sorry. You want company? I've gotta make a quick call, but I can meet you out there?" "Nah, it's cool." My head is spinning as I let myself out into the hall. I need to get over this shit. Just be a man and ask him what we're doing. But I'm afraid of his answer, and that's what has me hitting the sidewalks outside our hotel right as the sun starts to come up.