Unfinished stories.

Snow the fluffy asshole

Based off a dream I had while taking a nappy :^) 

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Almond(yes his name is almond like the nut) looked out at the snowy landscape. There was one glaring dark blemish on the snow. And that was Lao, facing the snow, pants around his ankles, thrusting his hips against the snow bank. Almond contained to stare for a moment before he realized what Lao was doing. "Lao...what are you doing?" He rushed over to Lao. 

"Want to know something?" Lao said casually as he thrust faster, "the snow is an asshole."

"What?"

"I hate it. It's cold, wet, and it get's everywhere. The snow is my sand, Almond! I'm here to get my nut!"

"I don't know what that means," said Almond dryly.

"Damnit, if you don't get the sand reference you're a fucking poster! You're a fake geek Almond! You're the reason why the fandom sucks now. You made this happen!" Lao said before he thrust his face and hips back into the snow and began screaming.

He furrowed his brow," I don't have time to deal with his. Come back inside before someone sees you."

"I can't Almond. Not yet. I'm so close! I can't come till I've fucked it!" Shouted Lao.

"What do you mean you can't come in till you've 'fucked it'?"

"You know what I said!"

"Why...why are you even doing this?" Asked Almond. 

"Well, you see," said Lao slowing his pace. "The snow is an asshole. A big white fluffy asshole! We have to fuck that asshole, Almond! We've got to fuck the snow!"

Almond stared at Lao and with a sigh, he said, "Go home Lao you're drunk."

"No! I need your help, Almond. I can't fuck all of the show by myself! You need to help me fuck the snow!" Insisted Lao. 

"What! Ugh, no!" exclaimed Almond, "that's disgusting!"

"But Almond," whined Lao." It's an asshole and it needs to get fucked! We're the only ones that can do it. This big asshole needs to be fucked!"

"Nope, I'm leaving. Bye"

Lao rose from the snow and Almond covered his eyes at the sight. Lao approached him, waddling through the snow, pants around his ankles. He continued to yell, "Don't tell me that you've never thought it! You can't honestly tell me that you've never looked out the window and thought 'Fuck this shitty snow. Let's fuck it!' We can stop dreaming today Almond! We're going to grab balls of this snow and fuck it. Just you and me! Nobody else but you and me! Fucking the snow! Best friends having a threeway with the snow!"

"I'm going inside," Said Almond, turning to face away from Lao. "And if you had any sense you will too."

"Not until I finish what I started!"

Almond hoped deeply that Lao's  dick and Lao himself would freeze to death. 

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:^)