It wasn’t that they didn’t miss me. I knew that for certain. It was just…they were moving on with their lives. Learning to live without me around, adapting to the new reality. I wasn’t there anymore, but that didn’t keep them from living.
Alright, maybe that sounds a little narcissistic. But you have to understand what this is like! Not too long ago, I was a normal teenage girl, with a great family and some awesome friends. I mean, it’s not like I thought the world revolved around me or anything. But I was still a part of it all. I had the lead role in the school play. I played volleyball and basketball. I was popular and pretty and smart and the kind of girl you’d want to be friends with. I liked to think that, anyway.
I think one of the worst parts is how quickly they’ve moved on. Oh, I’m not making any sense, am I. Alright, let me take you back to the time when I was alive.
“Cassie! Oh, I love your shirt! Is it new?” One of my best friends, Angela, chattered about my clothes as we walked down the school hallway. I had to laugh and shake my head at her. “Angela, I’ve had this shirt since, like, last year.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and then, predictably, she giggled in embarrassment. My other best friend, Vickie, rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you’re going to get through life, Angela. It’s like you live in your own world.”
Angela nodded confidently and said, “Well if that’s true, I don’t mind. It’s a very nice place, my world.”
We all laughed and then hurried off to our classes before the last bell rang. I had history first, one of my least favorite classes. Actually, the only reason I’d taken it was because one of my crushes, Cedric, was also in that class.
At the start of the year, I had been delighted when he chose a seat right next to me. The only problem was that on the other side of him sat Kaitlin. She was nice and all, but I could tell that she liked him too. However, I didn’t see her as much of threat. While she was kind of pretty, she was not the flirting type, and Cedric would never be able to tell that she liked him.
“Hey, Cassie.” Cedric said as he sat down. His long brown hair was in an adorable permanent state of messiness. His dark eyes seemed full of laughter and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Hi, Cedric. How was your weekend? Do anything exciting?” I asked, feeling quite flirty that day.
He shrugged. “Just did homework and stuff. And you?”
Our conversation managed to last for at least seven minutes, because the teacher had spilled his coffee and came to class late. It certainly made me feel pleased with myself for the rest of the day.
Alright, alright, I won’t bore you with every little detail. Yes, I was a normal, air headed teenager. The only things I cared about were my friends, my family, and of course, boys. Looking back at it all is almost embarrassing, in a way. But that was my life. Maybe it seems insignificant, in the long run. I mean, I didn’t become a doctor and find the cure for cancer or anything. The world didn’t go into mass chaos when I died.
But that was. My. Life.
We teenagers don’t like to think about death. I mean, who does? In high school, it’s like there’s no limit. We can do anything, have anything, be anything! We didn’t need to work yet or worry about adult things. Yet we had a sort of adult freedom. It was all a big adventure, every day.
No one expects the adventure to end so soon.
I was completely surprised when Kaitlin came up to me one day at lunch and said, “Could I talk to you for a second? Like, alone?”
