The smell of leather

That had been a rough day and Rose was only looking for comfort when she walked into the console room that night. She had gone to bed earlier but had been unable to find any kind of sleep. The Doctor had told her that she was all forgiven for what she had done, but she couldn't forgive herself for messing with Time and getting him killed. Somehow. Remembering the way he sacrificed himself to save everyone's life still felt like being stabbed in the heart. And then, her father did the same. Sacrificing his life to fix Time. After getting to know him a little, she was losing him again. Right in front of her eyes. Double dagger in the heart. And it was killing her as surely as a real knife. She had been looking for some relief to come while she was suffocating in her own tears hiding under the blanket of her bed. But the pain never left.

She thought she would find the Doctor in the console room. He seemed to always be busy with fixing something under the console; but he wasn't there. She couldn't even hear the familiar buzzing of the screwdriver or the usual swears that came with a very pronounced Northern accent whenever the TARDIS was rebelling against her pilot. He wasn't there right now but he had been around not so long ago. She could still smell the spicy and fresh scent he was always carrying around him. That wasn't the scent she liked the most about him though. The scent she loved was the one she could smell when he was hugging her. When her face was pressed against the wool of his jumper, when her nose was nuzzled in the lapel of his battered leather jacket. His cool skin was giving off something very special, very alien and that scent mixed with the smell of the worn leather jacket was her favourite in the whole universe. She knew she was home when he was holding her.

That's what she needed at the present moment. His arms around her, his scent filling her nostrils and bringing her the feeling of comfort she desperately craved tonight. But the man was nowhere to be seen. His jacket was laying on the pilot seat. Tossed aside like some smelly sock. Such a precious thing shouldn't be treated that way. Rose walked to the seat and grabbed the jacket. She buried her face into it and closed her eyes as she took a deep breath of the scent. Fresh alien skin and worn leather. With the arms of the owner of that jacket around her, it would have been perfect. She slipped her own arms into the sleeves and wrapped herself into his jacket. It was heavier than she thought – maybe because of the bigger on the inside pockets – but it was also very warm. As if the Doctor had just left it there. As if the jacket had caught all the warmth of its owner.

Rose sat down on the pilot seat and curled up in the jacket that was too big for her. She lifted the collar and nuzzled it. Even though the Doctor wasn't there, wearing his jacket reeked of his scent was like being in his arms in a way. That appeared to be enough to comfort her so she just stayed sat there, her small body all curled up in the big jacket, waiting for the man with piercing blue eyes to come back and get it.

When the Doctor indeed came back to the console room, he found the blonde girl sleeping uncomfortably on the pilot seat. She was tangled into his jacket and her face was still wearing stains of dried tears. He froze in surprise. He honestly hadn't expected to see her there. After being so rude to her, he had thought she would just lock herself away in her room and stay there until she felt better. But obviously, she had come out looking for something and only found his jacket while he was taking a shower.

Now that the surprise of that sudden encounter had faded off, he relaxed. That wasn't the first time he actually saw Rose sleeping, but that was the first time she showed a so obvious clue that she needed him around her when she was vulnerable. She looked so different in her sleep. Young. Fragile. Beautiful. She hadn't let him see how badly hurt she really had been by his words and reactions, by the whole situation. But now, he could see it and that broke his hearts. He needed to get forgiven for being such a jerk. One little thing would be the first step.

He carefully picked her up and a light smile crossed his lips when she snuggled closer to his chest and breathed in his scent. She relaxed completely against him while he was walking to her bedroom. He slowly lay her down in bed and tried to take the jacket off but she pushed him away to keep it.

"Oi!" he exclaimed, stumbling backwards.

He regretted the onomatopoeia as soon as he said it out loud. He stopped in his tracks when Rose groaned. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him sleepily. He was standing there, half in the dim light given by the corridor, half hidden in the darkness of the room, not knowing what to say about his presence there.

"Doctor?"

"I...", he started. "Sorry. I found you sleeping in the console room and I brought you back here but err... You refused to... Well, you didn't want me to get my jacket back."

He pointed to the jacket she was still tangled in. She looked down and his Time Lord enhanced sight let him see the tip of her ears go red. She tried to take the jacket off but she was only tangling herself in it even more. The Doctor caught her hand as it brushed over the worn leather. Every little wear on it was a reflection of every breach in his shell, but you had to be really attentive to feel or see them. And the Doctor had the feeling that Rose could see his vulnerability like he could see hers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I..."

"You can keep it if you need it."

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "It was a rough day and..."

"I should be the one apologising. I shouldn't have taken you there."

"I got to know my dad."

"And it hurt you to see him die."

"Not as much as seeing you die."

She bit her tongue when she realised the words that had just stumbled out of her mouth. It was true though. Losing her father had been hard, but she had learnt to live without him over the years. She had never known him before today. But the Doctor? He was the best friend she could have ever dreamt of. He had given her the universe, given her an importance when she thought she was nothing more than a shop girl with no A-levels. And if she had to be honest, there maybe was more than just friendship between them. At least, on her side.

"I did it to protect you."

She felt like those words were coming a long way. As if it was hard for him to admit such a thing. Knowing how he usually was about feelings, it was even a miracle that he was saying those words out loud. Rose blushed harder. She was thankful for the darkness. She just ignored that he could see in the dark and he kept the smile for himself so he wouldn't betray that ability.

"I needed you," admitted Rose. "I was feeling awful. Couldn't breathe."

"But you only found my jacket."

"Yeah."

"Looks great on you."

"Bit too big and heavy though."

The Doctor laughed and Rose's heart fluttered to that so beautiful sound. She felt better now. The last bits of tension she was suffering from had left her with his laugh. Now, she felt completely exhausted. Maybe she could get some sleep.

"So you're not angry at me?"

The Doctor had a small quiet laugh and sat down on the edge of the bed. He gently cupped her cheek with his cool big hand. She couldn't help but lean into his touch.

"I could never stay mad at you, Rose Tyler."

His voice was so soft that it made her shiver. The Doctor assumed it was from his cold touch and pulled his hand away only to tighten the jacket around her small body. Then, he tucked her in bed and kissed her head tenderly.

"It's time for the little human to sleep," he joked.

He was about to go when she caught his hand to hold him back and asked him to stay with her. Her voice was so low, so sleepy that even his Time Lords senses almost missed it. But he heard it anyway. He hesitated, wondering if that was a good idea, but he couldn't find any good reason to refuse so he lay down next to her. His hearts beat out a samba when she snuggled up close to him and by the time he decided to wrap an arm around her, she was already deeply asleep, leaving him totally vulnerable, totally uncovered to the thoughts about her he was always pushing away...