Smoking sucks. It smells awful. Your fingertips and breath smell awful afterwards and your lungs ache. And all that just to look cool. I wanna be cool. I wanna be considered cool. It doesn't even matter, in a few short years I'm gonna be dead. All of us are. So my will and your opinion are completely and utterly meaningless. Taste is weird. Like...why do we even have taste? It should make us not eat things that are bad for us and make us eat the things that are good for us. That would be practical and also make sense. How did we evolve in such a weird way? Did we though? We probably did. Big bang. An explosion. They say it never happened though. The universe is expanding in all directions always forever, that's what I read, but now they say it's wrong. They say it's in such a state that is constant. Or did they say it's shrinking? I don't remember. What if it's just a dude breathing? And we're inside him and by the time that breath is over our world will be too. Our entire civilization, thousands and thousands of years of mankind, of dinosaurs of all the creatures that ever lived and we don't know about just gone in the blink of an eye. What are we even? What does it even mean to be alive? It scares the shit out of me. That abscense of knowledge sometimes is reasurring. I can do whatever I want because no-one cares but during the nighttime I get scared. In a state of panic I sit and wonder about the universe and all its secrets that I, not only do not know, but probably wouldn't even be able to understand. The answer could be looking at me, right into my eyes, and I wouldn't even know. Once I read in biology that all the substances in our body can be found in soil and so we are in fact made from mud. Another time I read that we are stardust, literally. We came together to form life. We are so funny doing the things we do. And then we formed civilizations and now we have economic systems and political systems that don't even make sense to us because we keep building and building concepts on top of concepts on top of ideas and systems and money and credit cards and computers and cell phones and wow. Just fucking wow. And we say we don't understand ourselves and it's true. We don't. We don't undestand shit. We don't understand the universe or humanity. We make everything so complex because we don't care. It's crazy. We just throw things together and hope that it morphs into something nice. We don't go into detail, we don't organize we don't do anything and we act as if we are tired all the fucking time. How is it possible that everyone in the world is exhausted?? When did life become this tiring? It didn't. we just think it looks cool. We think we look cool complaining so we complain we think we look cool drinking coffe so we drink coffee we think we look cool smoking so we smoke. Vanity's what motivates manking and vanity is what it's gonna kill it. One last cigarette?
