Happily Ever After

As I was sitting on the couch , with my hands and feet ice cold as the heart of mine , I couldn't help but think that what had possibly gone wrong in our seemingly perfect relationship. Staring at that dim lamp light in the corner of this dark living room and listening to the sound of roaring thunder , I wondered if it was louder than the sound of my screaming heart . Though I looked quite peaceful on the outside , but inside my mind were the voices of my past , that addicting smile , the tickling feeling that shivered down my spine when our hands met, our laughter that still echoed in the university hallways , his eyes when they looked so lost in mine .. I didn't like many Disney stories because they always give girls an unrealistic approach to life , but I've always liked the story of Cinderella . I threw away all my story books when i grew up , except that one ! Maybe because I saw myself in it . After all that I had been through as a child, i always expected someone to love me for just myself and nothing else , to take me away from all this chaos in life . And Jacob for once felt like THE ONE.

I walked towards my room , bare foot and stumbling . The journey from the living room to my room upstairs seemed unusually long today . I slammed the door shut and threw myself on the bed. My empty eyes stared at our picture hanging on the wall . Oh how happy we were this day , this day when he finally proposed me after me waiting for some long 5 years . This was the day we graduated and the day we got married too. Because he said that he couldn't wait for another minute to be with me for all his life. We ran our way to the nearby church , said our unprepared and silly vows. I remember how the our whole gang laughed hard when he said that he vows to share his pizza with me even if it was the last slice on earth , and he did fulfill this promise every time. And that moment when he said "I do" , and i looked hopelessly in his deep blue eyes and asked if he really does ? ..  And he kissed my hand and said "May God take my life if I don't". All my hesitations went away that instant and i said "I do too"

Life went on great from that day on wards till the second month of our marriage , when the mere doubt that i had changed to a reality . I found out that i was pregnant on the birthday of my husband and i couldn't keep my feet on the ground from that moment on, i felt like i was flying , that all the fairy tales were real , that i had found my happily ever after. I waited eagerly for him to come home and when he did , i gave him this news . He got even more excited and happier than me. We were on top of the world that day . We ran out on the streets , kissed and danced like retards. The next day he had this big party where he invited all our friends and showered the house with toys and bouquets. We starting guessing what hobbies would our child have and I said that i thought he would do great in baseball like his father While he said that she would be a fine dancer like me . We talked throughout that whole night. The next day seemed ever happier than the one before that . He left for the office but before that gave me a whole lot of money to go on a shopping spree for our child and i was super excited about that . My best friend Linda used to work in the same office as Jacob's and she had taken a day off to be with me during the shopping. And why wouldn't she ? A Godmother must have an opinion in each and everything that needs to be bought for the child. We were walking on the pavement , laughing at each other's stupid jokes . She had her hand on the red button that was meant to stop the traffic when she asked me to cross the road. I never looked towards the traffic because i believed in her. She started to cross with me but suddenly she stopped . I turned back to see why she did when she shouted "WATCH OUT" at the top of her voice . But it was too late . That car hit me and i fell away .For a second i couldn't tell what had happened.

Though i was conscious but I bled from my head . Then this pain in my abdomen started and it was so intense that i started screaming right there , lying on the road. Everyone gathered around me, A nice lady held my hand and took me on the side of the road . I kept screaming in pain there and in the ambulance . I cried and asked the nurse to call my husband. The whole world collapsed for me when the doctor told me that i had a miscarriage . Jacob was right there with me but he left as soon as he heard . I couldn't see the sadness on his face because i was too busy wiping mine . 

My sister came to the hospital and took me home with her . I was too shocked to feel anything else at that time . It didn't bother me that how Jacob never called me during my whole stay of two weeks at my sister's home . When I felt a little better , i decided to go back home . But then i changed my mind . I decided that i would go to Jacob's office first to pick him up and then we'll go home together . My sister drove me to Jacob's office . As i walked passed the reception outside his room , his secretary asked me to wait outside as he was in an important meeting .I looked around in the office and noticed that most of the employees had left as it was almost Off time. I stayed out and watched the secretary as she looked anxious while calling some unanswered number again and again . A thought hit my mind and i walked ahead to open the door despite the secretary trying to get in my way . And there it was ; my nightmare , the one i had always been afraid to imagine , Linda and Jacob together in a way that i had never thought . They both stood apart as they saw me looking at them , shocked . "Listen Claire! I can explain .." Before he could say anything i rushed out and took a cab on my way back home. Sitting in the cab , trying to figure out what was more painful , the fact that i had lost my child or seeing my best friend and my husband together , I realized ; Maybe she hadn't pushed the button at all , maybe she had planned it all along , maybe thats why she looked so down on the day of my wedding , maybe she took that day off to ruin my life so she could build hers. She always used to talk about Jacob with me but I had always thought that it is because she knows i love him . I never knew that all this time she had Jacob in her heart . But I couldn't understand why Jacob did this . He loved me , he left everything for me . I never for once doubted his loyalty and regard for me but why he ?

Jacob reached minutes after I reached home.

 " Claire ! Claire , honey ! look at me.. Look I can explain .. It wasn't me , it was the grief i had been through , how we lost our child , how we lost our dreams , I wasn't in my mind , i didn't know what i was doing , i just wanted the pain to go away !" He said as he held me and tears rolled down his cheeks . 

"I love you and no one else , Please forgive me Hon !''

 "Linda was just there to calm me down when i was crying in my office alone and I don't know how it all started and i lost control , but baby believe me ! this won't happen again ever , I promise ." 

"Let us forget it all . Let us start a new life , let us be happy again , please ! Like old times , huh ? Claire??"

But he didn't know the eyes he was staring into were empty . The Claire he had been holding in his arms was long dead. There was no love in my heart, no tickles running down my spine. My soul was shattered. It seemed as if I had turned to stone.

I could hear the sound of police siren among the thunderstorms now. A loud banging started on the door as the police shouted to open the door or they would break in. I moved my corpse down the stairs and went to see him one last time . As i opened the freezer , there he was , as always, with his eyes that seemed so lost in mine , his heart with me for all eternity . With his favorite bat , i ended his life that he promised to spend with me. With trembling hands I called 911 ; "I killed my fairy tale, Officer .." I said in a shaking voice , "I murdered my happily ever after ..."

***** This short story is also an awareness regarding the depression women face after a miscarriage or an abortion . They are most vulnerable emotionally and physically during this time . They need the support and love of their loved ones during this critical time . Be sure to spread love and care around !! 😊