Pleasure

Chapter Forty-Six

*Disclaimer: it's hard to update like I used to, since I work everyday after school. I will try to do my best though. This story will probably end soon, seeing as I have a baby on the way and I might not be able to work all of this into my schedule but I am definitely working on a part two. Here's chapter forty six.*
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I stare down at my hands as Jacobs leg bounces up and down rapidly. The only thing filling the air in the car is silence. It makes my skin crawl. I want it to stop. I want to say something but I don't know what to say. No words seem to find their way into my throat.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Jacob look over at me, studying me with his hand over his mouth. My eyes slowly trail over before connecting with his. The way he watches me makes me insides flutter. I immediately divert my attention somewhere else.

"Please say something." I mumble quietly, fidgeting my fingers nervously. Jacob takes a deep inhale and pauses for a moment, letting suspense build up.

"I'm ready." He says. I turn to him with a confused expression. He looks at me with soft, innocent eyes. "I'm ready to tell you everything about me Aria. Everything. Only if you're willing to listen to it all."

I gulp in anticipation and stare at Jacob. He studies my face and waits emotionlessly for a response.

"Tell me now. Because if you aren't willing to listen, I can turn this car back around and we can move on like we have nothing between or for us." I blink at his slightly harsh words. He clenches his jaw and I can tell he's nervous. I nod slowly, keeping his eyes on mine.

"Okay."

Jacob releases the breath held in his throat. He closes his eyes, noticeably showing his relief. He shuts the car off and leans back in his seat, rubbing his hands on his jeans. I've never seen him this nervous before. He's tense and sloppy, he can't control himself.

"So I want to just start by saying that I'm not a killer. But I am a bad guy, Aria. You may not think so, but I am. And that's who I always thought I'd be. Then you came around. You made me feel like I could do more with myself. I still move stuff for my uncle, but you made me want to quit. I want to do more because of you; for you. So you should know the truth. . ."

Jacob's Flashback

I sat in silence as Don smoked his cigarette and stared out the window. The gun felt wet and loose in my hand, but my grip continued to grow tighter. I was enraged, but I couldn't show it. I sat there like an abandoned train on the tracks, left to steer itself in an unknown direction. Eerie, deadly silence hung over the car as all five of us waited in the dark, watching the busted down warehouse.

Two men bust out of the front door, laughing and talking. They get into a parked black vehicle and quickly drive off. Don puts his cigarette out and looks back at us.

"Time to go." He mumbles before puffing out a stressful cloud of smoke.

We all get out of the car and make our way towards the entrance. My palms begin to clamp down and scream. My vision gets blurry but I try to blink it away and clear my thoughts. A million things are going through my mind and all I can think of is: don't.

I follow behind the rest of them until we reach the door. Don's friend, Gale, jiggles the knob before slowly popping his head in. He looks back at us and gives us the go-ahead to follow in behind him. One by one, they all file in, leaving me last. I want to move, but my feet feel glued to the ground. Don notices I'm missing and looks back at me. He shoots me an angry look before walking over and jerking me by the shoulder.

"Are you in or out, kid?" He growls lowly. I think about my dad. I think about how he died in cold blood, over something so pointless. I nod my head hesitantly, before dragging my body through the door.

We make our way up some stairs as we grow closer and closer to voices, laughing loudly in happiness. It makes me want to vomit. With every step I take, rage consumes me like fire burning in the pits of my stomach. I can feel my hands begin to shake as my feet stomp sloppily up the stairs. I want to see his face. I want to see the man who took my father away from me.

We get to the top of the stairs and bust through a door. Without hesitation, they all start firing, shooting and dropping men like flies left and right. With every shot, my ears ring and my heart leaps out of my chest. I look around wildly, even though my eyes have trouble focusing on a simple singular thing. I turn and see a man pointing a gun right at me. I stop dead in my tracks. I stare at the gun, watching my fate unfold in his hands. He hesitates. His eyes flicker as he struggles to pull the trigger.

In an instant, a shot fires and he drops the gun, pulling his hand into himself and wincing. I look over and see Don pointing his gun at the man. He nods, almost as if I thanked him for saving my life. Now it's my turn to finish him off. I gulp down spit and walk up to the desk. The man laughs bitterly, holding his bloody hand.

"Your Diaz's kid, huh?" He questions, smiling evilness through his yellow teeth. Anger rises within me. He doesn't deserve to speak that name.

"You knew my dad?" I ask. He laughs for a moment and leans back in his chair. He's not threatened by my presence which only makes me angrier.

"I knew he shouldn't have stepped on my business. I run these streets, he wanted to take my business away." He pauses for a moment and flicks his eyes at me. "I ended that."

Without hesitation, I raise my gun and point it at his leg. I pull the trigger and watch smoke rise from my gun. He screams in agony and grabs his leg.

"Fuck!" He yells out. I feel my innocence slipping away slowly. Hatred washes over me like a tsunami. I want to keep shooting and never stop. All of a sudden my emotions run amuck. I feel tears sting the back of my eyes. Don rushes over to me and digs his hand sharply in the crease of my shoulder.

"Just end it, Jacob." He rarely uses my full name. It's always that shitty nickname. I know he hates watching this. Even hearing about it. But I don't want to end it. I want answers, but I don't even know where to begin.

Don pulls away and we all stand there in silence. It's the same eerie silence that fell over us in the car. I watch the man bleed out from his leg, whimpering silently and trying not to show his pain. He's dying, he's lost too much blood. I know this. I'm running out of time. The only thing I thought I had left.

The man's eyes trail up to mine and stare at me for a moment. I see his life. He had a bad childhood. He was a troubled teenager until he made it into this business. Now he's on top, doing what my father did. He was in my shoes. He was where I am right now. He's lost people too, I can tell. I wonder if anyone took his father away.

"Kid, if you want me to apologize, I won't." The man grins before coughing once. "I killed him." He waits for my reaction, but I can't find one to give. He begins to repeat his words, making my hand shake violently out of control. "I killed him! I killed your father! I killed him and he's gone! Stop being a little bitch and get over it!"

I raise my hand and pull the trigger, making a bullet go straight through his head. Everything falls silent. His limp body slouches over lifelessly as my ears ring from the shot. In the background, police sirens blare louder and louder but I can't seem to stop staring at his dead body. Don is yelling at me. Telling me to come on, but I can't. He jerks me by my shoulder and drags me out of the room, down the stairs, out the door, and into the car. I stare down at my hands, that seem so dirty now. There's nothing on them but I can't stop wiping them on my jeans.

He killed my father. And I killed him.

End Flashback

I stare at Jacob as a single tears rolls down his face. The amount of pain he's carrying is inexplicable. He looks to me with wide eyes, waiting for me to react the way I did last time. I grab his hand and squeeze it as hard as I can. I give him a reassuring look as we communicate through our eyes. He nods at me and wipes his tear. He stairs ahead and says nothing. I do the same.

"Okay."