Only For You

Bea: One

"There's more too you than that." the doctor says for the tenth time at leased. "You are a strong, beautiful young woman Beathany, Don't let this ruin you. and besides, it could be years, decades. it's likely that you have at leased ten years, probably more." I know what he was saying should be encouraging me, but all it was really doing was forcing this catastrophe into reality. I have leukemia. nothing now could change that. I was one of the unfortunate ones. One of many girls and boys who's lives are going to be cut short due to fatal illness. 

I had always known I was different, but I never thought I wouldn't live past 30. Would I ever get married? Have children? I feel so alone. I guess I should've seen this coming. It took my mother, but she was diagnosed way later in her life than me. She fell in love, and had me and Ari before the Idea of cancer even found route to her brain.

My dad and brother wait patiently in the lobby. My father was a brave man. I used to admire him. Now whenever I see him, I see her too, the tramp that thought she could replace mom. Now I barely give him the light of day. Now my brother Ari is all I have. He's careful around me. Strong. He knows my days are numbered, but he still treats me like i'm 100% ordinary. I couldn't be more grateful for him. he's my savior, he protects me from the nightmares, dreams or reality. Even though he is a grade above me, he would always leave his friends in the hallway to walk me to class. 

I approach them with great caution, the nurse behind me gestures for my dad to follow her. I don't give him a second glance.  

"Everything go ok?" Ari asks, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

"I don't really know." I answer honestly. 

"How long? did they give you an estimate?" he questions trying to keep his casual expression from faltering. I frown.

"They said at leased a decade, but I'm scared. They keep changing it, and it keeps getting shorter." I feel the tears threatening to fall. Ari bites his lip, clearly thinking carefully about what to say. 

"Come here." is what he decides on. He opens his arms wide and pulls me into him. I don't hold back. tears soak though his grey tee shirt and his fingers stroke my hair. Instantly, I see images of my mother flash before my eyes. She always used to stoke my hair when I was upset. I want nothing more for her to be here beside me, telling me that everything would be ok.

I calm down after a few minutes and leave ari for a quick bathroom break. I don't really have to go to the bathroom, I just need to be alone for a minute or two. 

I stare at my refection in the small mirror. The chemo they gave me didn't help for some reason, so I still had my brown wavy hair. I didn't even care. There's no point of looking good when you in the situation I am. I felt my eyes water again. I've been really emotional since my diagnoses which really fucking sucks. I was always the girl who was brave, daring even. But now, I'm always in some sort of pain. Everything became too high risk. I can't even eat a decent meal without getting sick. 

I slowly drag my feet along the linoleum tiles and tap Ari's shoulder, telling him i've returned and I'm all right. His eyes light up when he see's me, and that's when I notice who he was talking too. I just assumed it was dad, but I was proven wrong when I was met with shocking green eyes. 

"Bea, This is Harry." I give him a shaky glance but then cowar away. I did not like meeting people. I didn't want their pity, nor did I need it. 

"What are you doing here?" It slipped out. I couldn't help my curiosity. A hospital is a strange meeting place. I could've used a nicer tone though. 

"Bea, be nice, he's not a bad guy. he's my friend." Ari said trying to comfort both me and Harry. I muttered a small "sorry" before he spoke. 

"My sister got herself pregnant, so I'm her ride to appointments. Bloody idiot of a boyfriend needs 'time to think things over". he scoffs. I'm shocked by his thick British accent. it's deep and slow, and you would never think it would come out of his mouth. He runs a quick hand though his locks of chestnut Brown hair. I only nod before turning my attention back to Ari. I give him a look telling him I am beyond ready to leave, but before he could process it, green eyes speaks again. 

"You're Bea right?" He asks and I suddenly feel on edge. "Ari's told me so much about you. You're so... Brave." He comments. Lifting his foot up to the chair and griping his shin. I swallow and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. 

"You talk about me?" I direct my question to Ari, who's chewing his lip as he does when he's nervous."

"I tell people your story because I'm proud of you." He exclaims and I frown. He knew I didn't want people to know what was wrong with me, because they would give me pity, and that was the last thing I wanted. It sickened me.

As if he could read my mind, Harry said: "I don't want to make you feel sorry for yourself. I just think people like you are quite remarkable. I know if I was in your position, I would give up. I look up to people like you." When I didn't say anything, he bit his lip and looked down at his feet. 

"Thank you." I muttered and his eyes shoot up to mine and lite up. 

I like his smile. It lights up the already fluorescent lit room even more. Wide, polished teeth lined side by side, slightly hidden by plump, pink lips. My favorite part however, were the dimples etched deep into his cheeks. I caught myself staring and quickly pulled my eyes away. My cheeks heat up and I run my hand through my hair. 

"Harry!" A female voice calls from behind me, causing me to spin around to find the source. I see a girl clad in high waisted shorts and a flowy pink top stomp up to him. Their resemblance is uncanny. "The bloody tosser of a doctor told me I have to come back again tomorrow." she let out a frustrated groan and scanned over me and Ari. "I'm going to wait in the car. I need some Ben and Jerry's on the way home." She explained and slid through the glass doors. 

"So, you're still in right." Harry asked Ari.

"Um, yea, but... Bea are you going to be alright?" I raise my eyebrow at his question, expressing my confusion. "Harry's taking me and his sister on a camping trip this weekend. His dad has a cabin in the woods by the lake." 

"Um, Yea. I'll be-"

"Why don't you come along?" Harry interrupted. I'm startled by his sudden outburst, after all, I only met him a few minutes ago. Ari looks pleased with the idea. I grab his shoulder and pull him aside. 

"What in the world?" I whisper. 

"He's one of my best friends, and I talk about you all the time" He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. "And you could use a weekend away. You need some time to forget about the bad stuff. Don't worry, I'll be there the whole time." I ponder for a moment but finally agree only because I know I would be even more miserable alone with dad. 

"This better be worth it. It's cutting into my pleasant time of sitting and hating my life." I retort sarcastically. He smiles and slings and arm over my shoulder, pulling me back to Harry. 

"we're in." He simply says. 

Harry's eyes light up again. "awesome! I'll pick you both up right after school Friday. Ari, tell her how to pack. Can't wait." He flashes one last smile before running to where his impatient sister honks the car horn. 

 I mull over what had just happened. I had vacation plans with my brother and his friend that I only just met.

This was so unlike me.