Hassliebe; mafia!Dazai Osamu

01. Last Night, I Dreamt, That Somebody Loved Me

You woke up only to feel the coldness of the empty bed side, where the sheets were still a little crumbled as a sign, that Dazai was there last night. The clock showed, that it was already 7 a.m., meaning, that you had to get up and head to work.

Feeling a slight headache after drinking some sake yesterday, you rolled over to another side, away from the sunshine and decided to stay in bed for a little longer.

Although, yesterday you said, that you weren't sad by the fact, that he always left your bed before you woke up, you actually really wished, that someone could be there with you in that moment. Having sex with him was fun, but in the mornings, you could never deny, that deep in your soul, you wanted to also be loved deeply. You wanted to wake up to see the person, who meant the world to you. You wish, strong arms were wrapped around you and warm breath was tickling your ear.

You wished your life could have some meaning.

You moved a little so that you were now lying on the side, where he was sleeping. Resting your face on the pillow, you inhaled deeply. The pillows still smelled like him. They didn't smell like sake or cigarettes or sex. It was exactly his odor and you had to admit, that you liked it.

Groaning, you finally raised up from your bed and started preparing yourself for another day of your life.

***

As you arrived to the Mafia headquarters, your first place to visit was Dazai's office. As you were approaching it, you took a notice on the fact, that you seemed to be the only one on the floor and that was indeed quite strange. The sound of your heels hitting the floor was the only sound you could hear and with every step, you took, you could also hear blood pumping in your ears as you found yourself being surprisingly slightly nervous.

You knocked at the door and after a cold "come in", you entered the room.

"Ah, (Y/N). That's just you." Dazai said in a voice calmer, than before

His hazelnut orbs met yours for a brief second, but it was enough for you to see all the fatigue and despair, he was holding in all these years. You've learned how to read him whole, even when he didn't want you to.

Dazai was always trying to look strong, powerful, like he had no weaknesses, but no matter how hard he tried, small things, that your eyes noticed always showed you his true nature.

The truth was just, that you knew him better than anyone else, even though, he never told you anything himself and you both knew it.

"Good morning, Dazai." You greeted him, coming closer to his working desk

"What brought you here?" He asked

Before answering, you pulled out his tie out of your bag and put it on the desk surface

"Here. You forgot if yesterday." You answered

"Oh...thank you." He said

His eyes showed nothing. No emotion at all. Everything was just replaced with a blank stare as if everything around him was colored in grey. These were the eyes of a man, who's seen all the worst things in this world and was just way too tired and hurt to care anymore.

"You look bad." You said "Are you stressed?"

"Are you worried about me?" He asked as he went back to writing his report

"You could just answer my question, at least once." You frowned

"But that wouldn't be so fun." He answered casually

An uncomfortable silence filled the room and you hurried to come up with anything else to say. Of course, you could just leave his office after saying "goodbye" and head to your own, but because of some unknown reason, you couldn't leave just then. Something kept you in place.

"Any assigned missions for today?" You asked

"Today - no, tomorrow - yes." He answered "We're going under the cover to a party held by one criminal and we'll have to sneak into his office, while everyone will be busy and get some important documents."

"Hm...for once, that's something interesting." You said

"I agree. Hope, that this night will entertain me." He said

You will entertain me.

"Dazai." You started "Back to the question, that I've asked about week ago. What..."

"Can I answer later? I'm a little busy and I'm sure, that you have work to do as well." He interrupted you, knowing, that this was a little rude, but it was the only way to avoid answering

"Sorry." You apologized, being obviously irritated by such interruption "See you later."

You turned around on your heels and headed to the exit in a quite rapid pace, wanting to leave this place as sooner as you could.

However, you didn't notice how his eyes, finally lifted up from the paper sheets and watched you closely as you were walking away and for once, an emotion could be seen sparkling in his chocolate eyes.

~~~

Huns, thank you so much for all your comments and votes!! It really encourages me to write more c: