WE MET IN DETENTION ➸ REDDIE [✓]

ONE

from: eddie.kaspbrak96@gmail.com
to: richie.tozier@gmail.com
subject: remember me?

hey richie,

remember me? eddie kaspbrak? we used to be best friends. well, more than that.

we were eighteen when we met in detention, but you obviously know that. you had thrown your lunch all over henry bowers, and i hadn't done my homework. two very different reasons to be there.

i was intimidated by you. like, really intimidated. i thought you'd think i was annoying or something. but you talked to me. and you just kept talking to me. you were hilarious, and you teased me for not doing my homework. i swear, i blushed like crazy. i was in love the moment you called me eds. even if i never showed that.

we became friends and you introduced me to your friends, stan and bill, while i introduced you to beverly, ben, and mike. we were all friends and it was the happiest i'd been.

we first kissed behind the gym equipment shed. i remember it so clearly. you showed me a dead rabbit, which i thought was absolutely repulsive. so, i started telling you off about it. i could tell you weren't listening, but i just kept talking. i kept talking until you grabbed my face and kissed me. it was the best kiss i ever had. nobody ever found out. my heart was racing, i was blushing so much, and i was so happy. i could tell you felt the same way.

we dated in secret for about a month before bill caught us kissing in the shed. it was funny, really. bill was stuttering so much, apologizing and offering to close the shed for us to continue. we told him about our relationship, and he promised he wouldn't tell anyone.

god knows bill can't keep secrets for shit. so, we told the rest of the group and they were really happy for us.

that's when we started fighting more. it wasn't my fault my mom didn't trust you. no matter how much you said it was. you knew that she was protective over me.

and it's not your fault i got jealous when girls would flirt with you. no matter how much i said it was. i thought you'd leave me for them. i was really, really insecure.

we decided to break up in october. it was terrible. i really didn't want to lose you. i'm sure you felt the same. but, it was for the best. we spent more time fighting than we did holding hands, cuddling, or kissing.

we stopped hanging out after that. we both grabbed our friends and split. you took bill and stan. i took mike, ben, and bev.

it's been 7 years. 7 fucking years.

i miss it. i miss it so much.

i miss sneaking around.

i miss hugging you.

i miss kissing you.

i miss holding your fucking hands.

i fucking miss you.

i haven't gone a day without thinking about you.

but you're married now, aren't you. to a girl. i guess you're happy, right? so, i should be happy, right?

i'm sorry. i don't even know if i'll send this letter. i guess if you're reading this richie tozier, i love you.

- eddie kaspbrak