The Makeover Project

Chapter 28 - It's Complicated

Ellie

I'm currently lying on the bed with my eyes glued on the view of the plain ceiling above me. I have nothing to do. I know that I can do anything that I want but I couldn't seem to make myself stand up from this bed and do things that would be a little more productive.

The main reason behind that was probably because of the incident earlier, which I and Austin shared a make out session. It was all new to me and it's my first time. Girls in our school weren't joking about Austin being a good kisser because he is such a pro. I can't believe I'm saying this right now when I shouldn't. I can't believe I'm saying this.

I place a pillow against my face whenever I remember the feeling and it made my stomach twirl and the smile is constantly popping of my lips because of the mere thought.

How can a guy, who I used to hate, make me feel a bunch of random feelings?

I was quickly distracted when my phone started ringing beside me. I didn't look whether who is calling and placed it on my ear with a pillow against my face.

"Hello?" I ask. My voice was soft as the pillow was blocking my mouth to keep me from talking normally.

"It's not true that Elliot was in the hospital." His voice was familiar and when I finally realize who it was, my heart sank instantly.

I remove the pillow against my face as I start to think of the things I have to say. I have to say it even if it hurts. I have to tell him everything. It would be painful at his part but having to wait just to tell him face to face will make things worse, especially when you're letting the days pass and trying to keep up with the lie when you couldn't do it anymore.

"Matt, it wasn't supposed to be like that. What I want to tell you was—" He quickly cut me off, he laughs softly on the other line, but it was evident that he was just faking it, "I can see it in your face, you don't have to lie anymore. It was my fault. I know how you feel just by looking at him but at the night we spend on the beach, I thought you really like me because I feel like we have the connection, but somehow, it wasn't just enough."

"Matt, listen to me." I said calmly.

He sighs on the other line, "Ellie, you are really special. I fail to recognize you because let's face it, you're not exactly the way you look now the way you look before, and with that, I'm already a lost. I'm not the guy who you should be with. I'm just too selfish. I was too settled, too focused on having to have that perfect relationship and the girl who I think was the one that I was so immersed on having you, when in truth, I wasn't really in love, I was in love with the fact of having to feel love that I fail to recognize what I truly feel."

"Matt." I try to stop him, but he kept on opening his heart out.

"I like you Ellie, it's the truth. But let's face it, I'm not that committed enough and I know that you also know who you really like and it's not me." He said honestly, "So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for having to push myself on you when I wasn't really committed, I'm sorry for everything. And I hope, that guy who I think was the one you like, will treat you right."

"Matt, there's no denying that I like you since sophomore," I heard him chuckle and it made me smile, "and the day that I asked you to meet me was because I was going to end it but somehow, the douche came up with a lame prank that I haven't got the chance to tell you what I truly feel."

"I understand." He said.

"No, I like you, really. The day we spent together in the beach was unforgettable, I still like you that time but the following days were a blur to me, especially when a particular someone starts to bump in my life, making everything complicated." I explained, I can feel my heart pounding, I was telling him everything and little by little, the heavy thing that I'm feeling in my chest lightens, "And that's when I realize that I like him and that I have to tell you the truth."