The Chronicles of Decay

I Love You

- I love you.

I said while she snorted the white powder from my cock. She seemed to choke and started to laugh and cof. In the end, she said:

- Fuck you.

- I mean it.

She moved and sat in front of me in the bed, with a serious face.

- Sorry. People say that sometimes... But it's not gonna happen.

- Gonna happen? There's nothing to happen, I just said I love you.

- No, you don't.

- How do you know?

- There can't be love when there's money involved.

- That's how marriages work.

- It's different.

- How's that?

- In marriages the guy doesn't pay to fuck his wife - she stretched herself by my side, but seemed to avoid my eyes.

- Many of them don't fuck at all.

- What the hell do you want?

I went on top of her and putted the rest of the powder on her breasts.

- What do you mean? - I snorted most of it. Felt my brain boiling in my skull, as if a high voltage current passed by it's right lobe and then I sucked the rest from her nipple. The bitter taste going down my throat made me a little nauseous, but that was expected.

- Saying this shit out of nowhere.

- I don't want anything - I threw myself on the bed and my head remained between her feet. I felt the euphoria started to kick in while I looked at the bedroom door upside down - just felt something and thought about sharing.

- It wasn't love.

- How do you know?

- We don't know each other.

- And that matters?

She folded her legs and held them, sitting of the bed. I sat in front of her and looked her into her eyes. She seemed to scrutinize my face, hoping to catch a glimpse of a joke, but when she saw none, she said:

- Are you insane?

- Why do ask that?

- You call a whore to fuck and tells her you love her.

- Sometimes a good fuck is the best proof of love you can give.

- No! I mean... - she stopped sometime, thinking - maybe... But only when people now each other, date each other, have history together!

- Nah, that's just bullshit people say to make laws and sell books. Love itself can last less than the kick of a hit, it can last seconds: Those seconds when you meet a person and she brightens your day and all the emptiness in the world don't matter anymore and you thank god for being alive, even though you don't believe in him.

- Look, man, I don't know where you're from, but here things don't work like that... You can't call something that last that little "love".

- That's exactly the problem - I said, lighting a cigarette and passing the pack to her - there're dozens, maybe hundreds of people that can make we feel this in the world. But we try to love the same person all the time for the rest of our lives. We try to force this feeling more than it can take and then we end up fucking everything up.

- How do you do it, then? - she lit her one and gave me back the pack.

- Me? I'm good with loving people for short periods of time, which is how long I can: Nights on bars, unexpected meetings...

"Or even in a good fuck".