“Everybody wants it... and needs it.. A little bit, too...” Evan said, winking at his dominatrix mother.
“Yes Son, now gimme dat tree dick mmMMMmmm”
“MOMMY-”
“It’s mistress heidi to you”
“d-daddy, I have a thing for older men.. N-nut~” Zoe cooed sweetly.
“God damnit Zoe you make me so wet, it makes me wanna kill you.” Connor replied aggressively.
“Kill my bOdy CON MMMMM-” she cut him off.
“FUCK YEA ZOE” he excitedly answered her.
“Connor I want your human tree sap all over my face.” Larry moans.
“GUYS QUIETEGZ DOWN I'M MAKEING DINNER ;)”
“DAMMIT CON, I FEEL LIKE YOU COULD BREAK AT ANY MOMENT, F-FUCK”
“LET’S BREAK THE BED ROCK THIS DEAD GIRL WALKING”
“STOP MAKING HEATHERS REFERENCES WHILE I’M TRYING TO FUCK YOU”
“Lick my asshole Zoe. I just had a nice shit too.” He winked.
“FUCK OFF CONNOR I DO WHAT I WANT uwu”
“fuck me till my dick falls off, mmm~”
“OH MY GOD ZOEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYTYYYYY. I’M FINNA BUST A BISCUIT
W O O F”
“Larry I want you to fucking dominate me in bed.”
“d-daddy”
“fuck little guuuurl”
“IMMA BOI”
“PLOT TWISTS HNNNNGH”
HC CONNOR HAS A GORDAN RAMSEY KINK
Headcanon: zoe likes to call connor larry in bed to make the daddy kink more realistic
“Fuck you make those lamb chops just right~”
“My name is connor, I am a poet, I wrote this poem just to show it, and i, FUCK ME ZOE UWU”
Cynthia walks in “I hope you all are enjoying yourselves I made sandwiches downstairs. Come down when you're ready!”
“I’m ready for you, mommy~”
“Welcome to the jungle Connor” Zoe pulls down her pants to reveal a 10 foot long lizard dick (welcome to the rainforest connor)
“Connor what have I told you about wearing Zoe's underwear? Dance for me Connor like the little slut you are.”
Connor dances suggestively, and it’s clear that mommy murphy was getting turned on.
“Mmm, baby, you’re so gucci~”
“Mommyyy~ I love the pink lace”
“wow, thats festive. Hurt me mommy.”
“I'M SORRY THEY MAKE MY BALLS OUTLINE GUCCIE, do you not like my ballz? Wow.. more body shaming for me lol”
*moan moan moan MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN*****
Nnngh i’ve been staring at the edge of the water- moANNNS*
“FUCK MOANA YOU TURN ME ON SO BAD NNNNHHH YES RACE TOWARDS THAT WATER YOU REBEL HHHN AAAAAAA Im NUTTING MOANA NNGHH I WANNA GO SO FAR WITH YOU NNhA A A A A A” Zoe yelled at the TV as it played Moana on netflix
“Z-zoe, what the fuck?” Connor called out from the other room.
“I’m more moist than your hair uwu” she said, ignoring Connor’s complaints.
“If you don’t stop, I’ll have to punish you Zoe~” Connor cooed.
“Fuck yes Larry, I’m so wet, like Moana~~~” Zoe replied.
“b-but little grill… yoire moaning that gurls name again, are you cheating on US, FUCKME HARDER SO I CRY MY PAIN AWAY, HHHHH”
“FUCK YOU CONNOR, YOU MOAN dADDY GRU’S NAME EVERYTIME WE WATCH DESPICABLE ME”
“WELL FUCK ZOE IT’S NOT MY FAULT HE’S A SEXY BEAST”
“Z-Zoe do me a favor and grab my fursuit from the closet.”
“but brother, it reeks of last night's bad choices”
“That's why I have extras.”
“w-woah~!”
“indeed yoing one.”
Connor goes into his drawer and pulls out a silicone egg. “Zoe I would like you to meet my friend. This is Zoey jr.” he smiles.
“wowowow, so amazing, that siZE, WOW, THAT'LL HURT BUT I WANT IT IN MY ASS RIGHT NOW”
”ITS GOING STRAIGHT UP YOUR ANUS. I COME FROM THE PLANET URANUS”
Zoe pulled Connor’s pants down swiftly and shoved into straight into Connor’s ass, as she promised.
“I’m so h-hard, Zoe.. nnGHH fuck, Zoe Jr. you feel so good inside me uwu”
“You like that?? Huh??!”
“FUCK ZOE I LIKE IT A L O T”
“THIS SQUIP IS SO RAW I CAN HEAR IT TELLING SPONGEBOB TO FUCK OFF” she yelled at Connor, giving her best Gordon Ramsey impression.
“Z-ZOE NNGH PLEASE I’M FINNA BUST A SLIME”i
connors a hairy boi
the hairier boi of the fmily. He could be harry pooter. That's how hairy. Since his hair has floof. So do other places ;)
;))))))
Evan went up to his room. He saw the little potted tree in the corner of his room. He smiled, “it's been so long baby.” He began FUCKING THE TREE H A RD. “FUCK I YOU ARE SO GOOD AT THIS ZOE JR.”
The plant stayed stoic- mysterious and aloof. A cold but excellent lover.
IS ALOOF OLAF nO lmao
Hc that he has a olaf kink
“mMMm olaf, fuck I wanna give you a really warm hug,” he moaned
“I wanna to get my human tree sap all over you~”
“Nnngh Evan, I want to taste your nectar so bad”
((HC EVAN CALLS ALL IF HIS PLANTS ZOE JR
;)))))))
(( HC, CONNOR HAS A KINK SHAMING KINK))
Heidi and Cynthia had a long day of work. They needed a break. Cynthia walked upstairs and opened her closet. She went to the back corner where her whip, handcuffs, and other kinky shit lied. Heidi walked upstairs. “You ready.” She was in her lacy bra and thong.
Twas in heat.
Actually stopping it here, I can't brEATH
YOU ARE READING
Dear Evan Hansen Shitpost Thing, Maybe?
HumorSome shit post of deh (Dear Evan Hansen for those of you who havnt dedicated your life to it- I mean what?) things I'm always bored and this is what i do in my spare time soooo- Its funny I swear-
