Stay Gold {The Outsiders}

Chapter 10: Heroes Are Never Forgotten

     Once we got home, we spent the next few hours in the living room, watching movies and laughing with each other. Darry had to practically drag Soda and Pony to their bed, while he actually had to carry me to ours. To be honest, I think that was the most fun we had together in a long time.

     I hadn't smiled much since Johnny's passing and I missed it. I missed him. The way we would sit and talk for hours before he was jumped. Or the way that all my fears and doubts just disappeared when he was around. He might have been scared stiff most of the time, but I always felt safe when I was with him.

     The next day, Ponyboy and I spent most of the day in his room. He still had to do that English paper and I was trying to help him pick a topic. While I was sitting on the bed, my mind began to wander.

     I hadn't finished Gone with the Wind. I couldn't. After I woke up, I had spent hours just staring at it. I couldn't find the strength to read it, and I was almost relieved when Darry had come in and taken the book to Pony's room.

     Almost.

     I felt as if I wanted to throw the book across the room but at the same time, I just wanted to hold it and protect it because it was Johnny's. The only things I had left of him were that book and my memories.

     I shook my head, trying to concentrate. But when I looked over at Pony, I could see that he was deep in thought, and he clearly wasn't thinking about his English paper.

     I got up and made my way over to him. I froze when I saw what he was holding in his hand.

     It was Gone with the Wind. From the thick paperback book, he removed a piece of paper with words scribbled across it. Curious, I proceeded to walk over to him, reading it over his shoulders.

Rosabella and Ponyboy,

I asked the nurse to give you two this book so you could finish it. The doctor came in a while ago but I knew anyway. I keep getting tireder and tireder. Listen, I don't mind dying now. It was worth it. It's worth saving those kids. Their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. Some of their parents came by to thank me and I know it was worth it. Tell Dally it was worth it. I'm just gonna miss you guys. I've been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid everything's new, dawn. It's just when you get used to evreything that it's day. Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's gold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be. And Rose, take care of yourself and the gang. I know you will, you always have. I want to thank you for everything. I never thought I could be happy but I was with you. I want you to tell Dally to look at a sunset. He'll probably think you're crazy, but ask for me. I don't think he's ever really seen a sunset. And don't be so bugged over being a greaser, Pony. You still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. There's still lots of good in the world. Tell Dally. I don't think he knows.

Your buddy, Johnny.

     As the word flowed through my mind, I could almost hear Johnny's voice. I felt tears spring to my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I didn't try to hide them. They streamed down my face and Pony's arms wrapped themselves around me, trying to comfort me. Suddenly a thought came to my mind.

     Tell Dally.

     I got out of Pony's grasp and went to the window. The sky was a beautiful baby blue but I could see a small amount of golden pink begin to form.

     I ran out of the room and through the living room, grabbing my old worn out converse and pulling them on my feet. Soda was on the couch, watching TV and Darry was reading the newspaper in his chair. Soda was about to say something, but I was out of the house before he could get the words out.

     I raced to Buck's, not bothering to knock as I entered. I had to hurry or I'd miss my chance.

     Climbing the stairs quickly, I burst into Dally's room. He was just lying on the bed with a bottle of beer on the end table. He looked at me strangely as I came in, out of breath. He stood quickly and approached me.

     "Rose are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked, panicked. Without answering his question, I grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs and out the door. I could tell that the only thing keeping him from pulling away was curiosity.

     When we reached the lot, I could see that a soft orange had just begun to engulf the sky. I let go of Dally's hand, watching him look around silently. Neither of us had set foot in the lot since Johnny died. He had spent so much time there and every blade of grass in that lot held a memory.

     It hurt to remember, but it also felt good. It felt like Johnny was standing there with us.

     I thought that the lot would be the best place to bring Dally, but I briefly questioned it when I saw him swallowing back his tears.

     "Why are we-"

     "Look," I cut him off, pointing to the sun, which was gradually setting behind the trees. The two of us stood there silently until the last bit of light was gone.

     Dally had been staring at it wordlessly. For a second, I thought Johnny was right; Dally had never seen a sunset before. He slowly tore his gaze away from the sky, his eyes meeting mine. Then I knew that I was wrong.

     His eyes were filled with pain and it seemed as if he were remembering dozens of memories. Memories he wished had been forgotten.

     "Johnny wanted you to see a sunset," I told him quietly, "He wanted you to know that there's a lot of good in the world." He just shook his head, as if he disagreed with me.

     "If you wanted me to believe that there was good in the world, why would you show me a sunset?" I didn't understand. Dally's eyes wandered over the sky were the sun had been only minutes ago.

     Then it clicked.

     Dally didn't want to see a sunset. He wanted to see a sunrise.

     Sunsets were the process of a bright, cheerful yellow sky changing to the cold, black darkness that is night. But sunrises were the exact opposite.

     The darkness disappears and is replaced by light. By hope.

     Sunsets reminded Dally of himself too much. He was a happy young kid, but he was hardened by society.

     "Rose! Rosie!" I heard my name being called from down the street. Sodapop was running toward me at full speed. When he reached me, he looked at Dally oddly. "Why did you run out like that?" he exclaimed "And what is Dally doing here?"

     "I'm sorry," I apologized, not only to Soda, but to Dally as well, "I had to do something for a friend."

     About a week later, I visited Johnny's grave. I had never been there all by myself. I brought flowers for him. Roses to be exact. Johnny had always said that roses were beautiful.

     Johnny's headstone wasn't very big. Darry, Soda, Steve, AJ and I had all worked overtime to help pay for a stone. On it was:

Johnny Cade
1949-1966
Heroes are never forgotten